About the author

Wendy La Vita is the Founder of Beautiful Life Training and Community Development with a demonstrated history of working in the for-profit and the civic & social organisation industry. Skilled in Operations Management, Sales, Creative Entrepreneurship, Administration, training and Management. Strong professional with a master’s degree focused in Psychology from Stellenbosch University, South Africa.

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My Story

2024 started on a very high note for me. I was excited because I had been accepted as a doctoral student at a prestigious university in South Africa. Can you imagine my dream coming true, after years of studying part-time towards achieving this goal. Little did I know how many obstacles would come my way, trying to steal my dream.

Research

I started out with the preliminary research which entailed working online 24/7 to find articles related to my study. This in itself was not easy because, you may or may not know that I have osteoporosis in my joints, and they tend to ache and get stiff sometimes which makes typing a real challenge. Yes, I know about the Speech to Text App, but needless to say the app is not human and cannot work effectively, so I have to use my God-given hands to type. Having said that, thanks be to the Lord I am to type today!

Additionally, I had to source funding for the research at the university, because I did not obtain a bursary. This of course became a challenge and sadly, after knocking on many doors I did not succeed in securing the necessary funds. I, in my wisdom, decided to carry on in the hope of obtaining the funds during the year…which brings me to today, where the bill is still outstanding. I decided after many prayers to leave the matter in the Lord’s hands, because, as St Francis said: “God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

The next semester, I carried-on in faith as usual with my research, attending online and face-face classes to equip me with the necessary skills as a doctoral researcher. Now can you imagine the cost involved? As you know Uber charges quite a premium to get around the city, let alone going to training courses out of town. (You may recall that my car was stolen, and we are still trying to raise funds to get a new car – please feel free spread the word!).

Call me crazy, because despite the financial challenges and the joint issues, and other health related issues, I enrolled for an intense 10-day Pre-Doctoral  Short Course. It was pure hell needless to say! I made a plan to get to the classes every day by Uber and ate bread and peanut butter for supper. ( Yes…student life…no food, no cash).

The challenge was real as I had to submit a proposal and present my proposal to a panel for assessment. After all this time and energy, as they say blood, sweat and tears, I did not receive a certificate due to late coming and no concession was made for my lack of transportation or physical challenges.

Added to this, I got a message from my doctoral study leader on day two of this intense course, requesting that we meet. I was informed that she would no longer be supervising my research. Oh, my goodness, you cannot even begin to see what a blow that was. I left the office most upset, but had to carry on with the course regardless, because I was determined to submit my proposal to continue my studies. ( July 2024)

Life goes on, right? I reached out to numerous other professionals to supervise my research but to date, no joy.  However, I have not given up! As King Solomon once said; “this too shall pass.”

The good news is that the preliminary proposal is done. Now I can refine it and submit it for examination in the new year.  My PhD journey continues…

Resilience

My Little Flower’s Story

I love orchids – how about you? They are so in demand as of late and so expensive! I kept going to look at orchids in the shops and prayed for the day I would be able to afford one (R175.00 – R 220.00)

I learned long ago that orchids have a second life. So, I kept the old stem and watered it, hoping  and praying it would come out. For over a year nothing changed, but the leaves stayed green in the pot.

The opposition AKA the garden snail

I, in my wisdom, decided to put the plant outside in the garden.  To my horror, upon going to sit in the garden, I saw the leaves had been eaten and had turned white. The plant was badly damaged and was looking very sad. A snail was sitting on the plant eating away at it! Oh No!

I then took my little flower back inside and put it in the kitchen window. And this time I really asked God to make it bloom. After no sign of flowers, I took the plant back outside. Unbeknown to me, my housemate had re-planted and watered the orchid.

And now – you guessed it! The orchids started to bloom! Every day, I watched excitedly to see how the little bulbs turned into beautiful deep pink and white petals. J

So, on the 9/12/2024 the last petal blossomed (9 petals in total). Seeing as my birthday is on 9 May, I consider these 9 petals on the 9^th to be my Birthday prezzie ( I celebrate my birthday monthly now…. as you know I am now in my second life. Read my previous blog called “Seasons”,  where I tell you all about my new season.)

Encouragement

As the year draws to an end, and we look forward to 2025, allow me to encourage you; expect to be blessed! The biblical number 25 symbolizes new beginnings, readiness for spiritual responsibilities, and a period of restoration. 2025 – The Year of Jubilee!

Reach Out & Touch: Take a second look at the flowerpot. You will see there are some other plants growing alongside my little flower. They are growing in leaps and bounds, and my orchid is blooming!

Life can be challenging to master on your own, if you need guidance and support contact us for counselling.

Email: info@beautifullifecommunity.co.za
Quote: “Success is not final; failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill

Wishing you a Victorious New Year!
Chat soon,
Wendy

  “Shaping a generation together”

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Never miss a story!

Women’s Day 2024: Celebrate Womanity

Republication of Beautiful Life TCD Women’s Day Blog

9th August 2024

You’re right, there is no such word as womanity in the English language. I made it up …just for fun, meaning the way woman think or are wired. (derived from the word humanity). Bearing that in mind, let’s look at Womanity from my vantage point, her beauty, brains and strength.

I hope you will enjoy my other side(this reminds me of a book about a woman called Eve, who had multiple personalities…). Any way according to a recent personality test I should be a comedian or a pilot! Join me as your pilot, as I explore womanity. Are you ready for take-off?

Beauty

When God saw everything, he had created it was very good!  (… when Adam saw Eve, he was at a loss for words he exclaimed, “Wow Man!” The Wow Factor: Eve was part of Adam, (see Genesis chapter 1 & 2) so she was human, and he could relate to her as a person. On the outside she was good to look at; beautiful. Adam was excited to have someone to share his life with because before God created Eve, he only had animals as friends. But when Eve came along, he had someone to talk to and a helpmate; meaning she had beauty and brains. She was created as a helper that was suitable for Adam. The Lord God said, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

In other words, Eve was perfect for Adam, complete in every way. God made Eve soft on the outside; but strong enough to bear children and gentle enough to care for them and smart enough to home-school them. As Adam’s helpmate she was equipped to deal with the animals in the Garden of Eden; meaning Eve was a strong woman, but needed her mate to protect her from the wild animals as God said; “Two are better than one, when one falls down the other can help him up.”

However, she does not have to compete with Adam in any way because she has been designed uniquely.

In the current climate Eve appears to be taking over Adams persona in many ways; having to prove her strength. The other day I went to the shops and saw a lady manager lifting boxes, pushing trolleys and in response to my remark about her working too hard she replied, “I have to show the men that I am able to do anything they can do.” No doubt some woman are physically strong; but why exert yourself when you can delegate? As I am flying across the freeway, I see a lady driver and her male companion asleep next to her, while she is looking stressed in peak hour traffic… I begin to wonder… is she really in control? Now don’t misunderstand me I totally understand the importance of independence and need to be mobile today. But I am wondering is it possible that in the 21st century men are still in charge? and simply taking a back seat; while we gals take-over the workload instead?

Makes me wonder…why not enjoy the pleasure of being treated like a lady.

Remember that old song by The Temptations, Treat Her Like A Lady:

“Now I’m the kinda guy who don’t believe

That chivalry is dead, no

‘Cause I believe a woman should be treated

With the utmost respect, mmm

Now I like opening doors

Pickin’ up her hanky off the floor

Treat her like a lady”

Brains

Flyinghigher, let’s talk about that Grey Matter –The brain

In the male and female brain there are many neurological differences, while we won’t go into detail right now, researchers propose that the way we are wired results in men and woman having different strengths(Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera, 2019). One sex is not better than the other in totality. However, research findings report that one sex may be better in certain respects. For example; men are better at performing single tasks; while women are better at multi-tasking. Women are better at attention, word memory and social cognition, and verbal abilities. Men are better at spatial processing and sensor imotor speed. Women are better at fine-motor coordination and retrieving information from long-term memory (Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera, 2019). Which explains why women tend to recall so accurately the past mistakes of their mates…right ladies?

To expand on this, research has found that certain sex-specific behaviours seem to be innate, not learned, which suggests that there is some hard wiring (structural differences) happening in our brain(Pascale and Primavera, 2019). For example, male monkeys prefer toys with wheels as opposed to female monkeys who prefer plush toys. On a higher level, when observing human toddlers, a preference is shown for sex-specific toys long before they know their own gender; and they show some of the perceptual differences found in adults.(Pascale and Primavera, 2019). (Extract from Male and Female Brains ‘Are they wired differently?’ Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera, 2019).

Strength

God created our bodies, brains and emotions (passions) to be strong in ways that match his unique design for us as men and women. The male body has an average of 11,793 kilograms more skeletal muscle, 40% more upper-body strength and 33% more lower body strength than women. On the other hand, female muscles can resist fatigue better and recover quicker.(Extract from Solid Joys article by Mary A. Kassian).

I guess by now it is clear that we differ on so many levels and the need to compete is totally unnecessary.

“Attention ladies and gentlemen landing is in 2 minutes, fasten your seat belts and prepare to land at Beautiful Life International Airport!” 

Back home after our journey together (I hope you enjoyed the flight)!?

In my humble opinion; it takes a strong woman to carry a baby inside her body for nine months, give birth to a child and nurse her baby immediately after hours of labour. No man has the capacity to compete with a woman on that level.

So, without any further delay as we land remember “You are very special”

“In all the world there is nobody like you. Since the beginning of time there has never been another person like you. Nobody has your smile, your eyes, your hands, your hair. Nobody owns your handwriting, your voice.

You’re Special. Nobody can paint your brush strokes. Nobody has your taste for food or music or dance or art. Nobody in the universe sees things as you do. You’re special.

In all time there has never been anyone who laughs in exactly your way. You’re different from any other person who has ever lived in the history of the universe. You are the only one in the whole of creation who has your particular set of abilities. Nobody in the universe can reach the quality of the combination of your talents, your feelings.

Through all eternity no one will ever walk, talk, think or do exactly like you. You’re special. You’re rare and in all rarity there is enormous value and because of your great value the need for you to imitate anyone else is absolutely wrong. You’re special, and it is no accident you are. Please realise that God made you for a special purpose. He has a job for you to do that nobody else can do as well as you can. Out of the billions of applicants, only one qualified. Only one has the unique and right combination of what it takes and that one is You. You’re Special” – Unknown Author

If you enjoyed my blog please share it on social media.

Looking forward to connecting with you soon!

Blessings,

Wendy La Vita

Email: info@beautifullifecommunity.co.za
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Beautifullifecommunity
Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/BeautifulLife24
Blog: http: //www.beautiful life community.co.za/blog-3html

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My Human Rights Day Declaration: I am a citizen of a kingdom that cannot be shaken. 

A child of a king with no limitations!

Login on the link below and be encouraged as I share my story of hope as a Cape Flats Girl in South Africa, with Katy Mac Donald from This Life Online Magazine.

https://www.thislifeonline.co.za/bold-and-beautiful-wendys-story/

For counselling and support

Email: info@beautifullifecommunity.co.za

“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.”—Brené Brown

Blessings,

Wendy

Never miss a story!

Valentine’s Day Blog back by popular demand
The face of love: Looking at love through a different lens, Agape Love

Looking at love through a different lens

Agape love

We met a year ago when I moved into a new apartment as a retro student in the university town of Stellenbosch. She was very distant but came by every day to say hello and for a little love and attention. Yours truly needing a friend in the new neighborhood was very happy to make her acquaintance. I began to look out for her every morning and evening at supper time. Over a period of time our bond grew, and I named her Amy Kitty. She became part of the family. I even went shopping for cat food, would you believe it, now if your know me, I avoid the pet food isle at all costs ( smells funny). Be that as it may, it became a regular item on my shopping list along with my chocolates . Amy Kitty moved into the flat and left a legacy of four adorable kittens who brings us great joy and a sense of love and belonging in this big wide world. A fond memory of her is that she had the most amazing ability to call my house mate’s name “Mel” when she was hungry or needed her litter box to be cleared. She was a real little lady!

Amy became sick and needed major medical treatment and it breaks my heart to share that she was too sick to survive. We lost a member of our family and the kittens lost their mother. You may not be able to understand our emotions, but I am sharing this because this experience has taught me how others feel about the loss of a pet ( a loved one). Sharing this story has been such a cathartic exercise, I would encourage you to journal about your life experiences as well.

I have learned that animals also need love and affection and can fill a void in one’s life especially when you in need of a friend, feeling lonely or on days when you just need a hug. 🤗

Health Benefits of owning a pet

• Spending time with pets increases opportunities to exercise, meet people and enjoy the outdoors.

• Regular walking or playing with animals may decrease blood pressure, cholesterol and triglyceride levels (fats levels in the body).

• Pets are good companions and can help to manage loneliness and depression.

Research has shown that the bond between animal lovers and their pets might increase fitness, reduce stress levels and be a source of happiness to the animal lover. www.cdc.gov/healthypets/health-benefits/

Agape love

Agape love is universal love, for example the love for God, strangers, nature or animals. It’s not dependent on flirtation or familiarity. This type of love is also called charity in modern day terms Agape encompasses the concept of altruism, described as the selfless concern for the well being of others. Recent studies associates altruism with better mental and physical health and even greater longevity.
Psychologytoday.com

Life Application Exercise: Share the LOVE

“ Love is an easy word to say, but a difficult one, sometimes to live out. You see love isn’t just a noun, a thing that you have or don’t have. It’s a verb a doing word. Love is something we meant to do.  There’s someone out there who needs that love.” Extracted from ‘Fresh’ by Berni Dymet christianityworks.com
Reach Out & Touch: If you need a friend or just need to talk to someone,I am available for counseling and support.
Email: info@beautifullifecommunity.co.za or WhatsApp: 0835030902

Quote: “A friend loves at all times” Proverbs 17:17

If you enjoyed my blog, http://www.beautifullifecommunity.co.za/blog-3.html
please share it on social media🙂
I’d love to hear from you!

Email: info@beautifullifecommunity.co.za
Follow:  https://www.facebook.com/Beautifullifecommunity

A friend loves at all times” Proverbs 17:17

“Share The Love”

Wendy La Vita

Never miss a story!

Beautiful Life Blog: Boundless

Meaning|Potential| Power|Purpose|Release the brakes
by Wendy Lavita

Women’s Day Blog: Self-love in the face of rejection

Switching your Emotions

I found that healing from a lost love and moving on is a conscious and daily effort, to switch your thoughts from the love you have lost. Feelings of love for another is not fleeting, its rooted in a deep need for acceptance and affection which is human. But sometimes we girls try to fill that void in our hearts with attention from unavailable persons. It can become a cycle of pursing an unattainable love. Research has found pursuing lost love is often due to a lack of paternal love because of an absent father or an unhappy marriage and a lack of self-love.

So, when you pour out your love into another it is difficult to let go. As women we tend to invest our whole person into that relationship, and we see it as perfect and even imagine it to be the answer to all our emotional and physical needs.
We dream about being with the object of our love. Every song we hear makes us think about our lover. We follow him and make him our centre of the universe….so what happens when he leaves us for another?

Many times, we tend to hold on long after the romance has died. Hoping that the love of your life will come back. Even when all the signs say the opposite.

How does one switch off those feelings?

Let’s get close and personal. I found it helps to make a conscious decision to say NO (in your mind and out loud) to the one who rejected your love. (You will notice I am using red it means danger! So, don’t go there!

What does that mean in practice? It means switching every thought of your lost love to another object. (And no, I do not mean to another lover).

When you think about said lover change your focus. Turn off the switch! You can do it trust me.

One’s brain can only focus on one thought at a time make sure it’s a positive thought. Don’t allow any thoughts of the love you lost or rejection to surface. Replace it with positive words of love and acceptance.

Singing my favourite gospel song and allowing the love of God to embrace me gives me a sense of acceptance and helps to dispel unhappy thoughts and emotions.

Yes, there will be times and many days of tears when you fully realise that the romance is over, and the love is lost and it’s not going to be rekindled, it’s hard to carry on. But letting go and accepting the end is part of the journey to healing your broken heart. This takes time, but this too shall pass. Be careful not to allow the process to be repeated by allowing the person who broke you heart to come back again (in your thoughts or in reality) only to reject you again. We need to protect our most valuable possession, i.e., our hearts.

I came across these wise words from King Solomon: “Above all else, guard your heart for it is the well spring of life.” Proverbs 4:23

Join me for a Self-Love Exercise

Loving yourself is no easy task. We hear this many times, love yourself. But how?

For me it’s a daily process of saying it out loud. So, look in the mirror and tell yourself: I love you! (Insert your name here). Repeat it until you believe it!

Take time to write a love letter to yourself. And share your heart with yours truly. You are the most important person in your life. Focus on your strengths and beautiful attributes and enjoy who you are as whole person. You are not dependent on another but have inner worth and can live a fulfilled life on your own or in a mutual relationship of love and acceptance. But is starts with you, loving yourself and living in the present. And not allowing the past to rob you of a healthy future.

Practical steps to switch your emotions.

Change the Music

* When you hear that song on the radio that reminds you of Mr X simply change the station…listen to some upbeat dance music and get into your exercise mode…dance around the room and get some feel good hormones going!

* Exercise increases your overall health and your sense of well-being, which puts more pep in your step every day. Exercise also has some direct stress-busting benefits. It pumps up your endorphins. Physical activity may help bump up the production of your brain’s feel-good neurotransmitters, called endorphins.

Teamwork

You don’t have to dwell on your lost love alone why not join a group or volunteer.

Benefits of Volunteering
Research also has shown that volunteering leads to lower rates of depression and anxiety. Volunteering reduces stress and increases positive, relaxed feelings by releasing dopamine.

Friendship

Going solo is never easy, I found it helps to talk and connect with my female friends.
Share you heart with a trusted friend; you will find that they too had to learn to flip the ‘Switch’ and have turned off the ‘lost love emotional switch’ and switched to loving themselves and others in a healthy way thanks to the love and support found in sisterhood. 

Quote: “I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” Brene Brown

Reach out and touch:

You’re not alone on this journey, I’ve been there and I will walk with you.

For counselling and support email me directly: Wendy@beautifullifecommunity.co.za

Happy Women’s Day!

Warm regards,

Wendy

Never miss a story!

Beautiful Life Training Blog

Wendy La Vita February , 2023
Boundless: Meaning | Potential | Power | Purpose | Release the brakes.

Valentine’s Day Blog back by popular demand
Valentines Day 14: February 2023
The face of love: Looking at love through a different lens, Agape Love

Looking at love through a different lens

Agape love

We met a year ago when I moved into a new apartment as a retro student in the university town of Stellenbosch. She was very distant but came by every day to say hello and for a little love and attention. Yours truly needing a friend in the new neighborhood was very happy to make her acquaintance. I began to look out for her every morning and evening at supper time. Over a period of time our bond grew, and I named her Amy Kitty. She became part of the family. I even went shopping for cat food, would you believe it, now if your know me, I avoid the pet food isle at all costs ( smells funny). Be that as it may, it became a regular item on my shopping list along with my chocolates . Amy Kitty moved into the flat and left a legacy of four adorable kittens who brings us great joy and a sense of love and belonging in this big wide world. A fond memory of her is that she had the most amazing ability to call my house mate’s name “Mel” when she was hungry or needed her litter box to be cleared. She was a real little lady!

Amy became sick and needed major medical treatment and it breaks my heart to share that she was too sick to survive. We lost a member of our family and the kittens lost their mother. You may not be able to understand our emotions, but I am sharing this because this experience has taught me how others feel about the loss of a pet ( a loved one). Sharing this story has been such a cathartic exercise, I would encourage you to journal about your life experiences as well.

I have learned that animals also need love and affection and can fill a void in one’s life especially when you in need of a friend, feeling lonely or on days when you just need a hug. 🤗

Health Benefits of owning a pet

• Spending time with pets increases opportunities to exercise, meet people and enjoy the outdoors.

• Regular walking or playing with animals may decrease blood pressure, cholesterol and triglyceride levels (fats levels in the body).

• Pets are good companions and can help to manage loneliness and depression.

Research has shown that the bond between animal lovers and their pets might increase fitness, reduce stress levels and be a source of happiness to the animal lover. www.cdc.gov/healthypets/health-benefits/

Agape love

Agape love is universal love, for example the love for God, strangers, nature or animals. It’s not dependent on flirtation or familiarity. This type of love is also called charity in modern day terms Agape encompasses the concept of altruism, described as the selfless concern for the well being of others. Recent studies associates altruism with better mental and physical health and even greater longevity.
Psychologytoday.com

Life Application Exercise: Share the LOVE

“ Love is an easy word to say, but a difficult one, sometimes to live out. You see love isn’t just a noun, a thing that you have or don’t have. It’s a verb a doing word. Love is something we meant to do.  There’s someone out there who needs that love.” Extracted from ‘Fresh’ by Berni Dymet christianityworks.com
Reach Out & Touch: If you need a friend or just need to talk to someone,I am available for counseling and support.
Email: info@beautifullifecommunity.co.za or WhatsApp: 0835030902

Quote: “A friend loves at all times” Proverbs 17:17

If you enjoyed my blog, http://www.beautifullifecommunity.co.za/blog-3.html
please share it on social media🙂
I’d love to hear from you!

Email: info@beautifullifecommunity.co.za
Follow:  https://www.facebook.com/Beautifullifecommunity

Lots of love

Wendy

Never miss a story!

Beautiful Life Training Blog: Boundless

Meaning | Potential | Power| Purpose| Release the brakes

Boundless: You Belong…finding your special place

By Wendy La Vita | October,2022

Stormi’s Story

You may recall Stormi’s story which I shared in a previous blog a while ago. To recap, Stormi’s mother ran off with her and hid her in the school grounds adjacent to my apartment. We could not find her for days, until a teacher at the school found her crying her heart out in the gutter and took her home. She was re-united with her mother and siblings after 3 days. Due to this traumatic experience, she lost out on mothers milk, the safety of being with her family, and the comfort of a home and was rejected………you may read the full story on my previous blog entitled: Stormi’s Miracle, “God cares for us” Posted 12 September 2020 http://www.beautifullifecommunity.co.za/blog-3.html

Finding your special place

Fast forward to October 2022 one year later, Stormi is a cute happy healthy cat. Stormi is a little fighter; she has the tenacity to hold on! I guess that’s why she was named Stormi. Being the baby, so to speak of the litter of four cats, she was a little smaller because she lost out on the mother’s milk and nurturing during the first few days of her life. She stole my heart and became my favourite.

Stormi and her siblings shared a cat-box in the bathroom but later she moved into my bedroom, in fact took over my bed. Some days she would crawl all the way under the covers. I came to understand that this is where she feels safe, especially when she heard strangers at the door, she would run and hide there. Recently she wanted to sleep on my pillow! I thought Oh No! This is not going to work as you can imagine, so I got a pillow and covered it with a blue pillowcase, just for her, I made a special place for her, my favourite kitty because I love her so much. I even told her its her pillow her…lol any way, be that as it may…lets leave it at that for now!

Learning To Trust 

This has become a learning experience for me. Stormi is no longer scared she is now sleeping with her back towards me… on her favourite pillow on my bed in my bedroom, where I spend a lot of time, being close to me. According to animal science cats sleep with their backs towards you once they trust you completely.

God spoke into my mind through this relationship with Stormi.  He says he has a special place for us in his heart, we belong to him, we can rest in him and trust him to protect us. When we feel threatened, we can run back to him. When there is a knock on the door Stormi would run to the bedroom and hide under the blankets for safety. Likewise, God desires to be close to us, he wants us to run to him, hide under his blanket, under the shadow of his wings, under his protection, then we will be safe and secure.

Psalm 91: 1 – 2: “I live in the shelter of the Most High, I will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety, he is my God, and I trust in Him.”

I am learning from Stormi that she is no longer afraid when she is in her special place, she finds rest and peace, a place of belonging, where she can sleep peacefully without having to be afraid. I feel God is saying, rest in me. I have a special place for you. I will protect you and take care of you. You don’t have to be afraid when you are in my presence. We belong to Him.

We have to hide under his protection

On rainy days when the storm rages I run and get scared much like Stormi and forget that God is watching over me…. I guess Stormi Kitty had to teach me to trust God. There is so much that we can learn from God’s creation, there is more to life….sometimes we struggle, run, fight, do stuff, but I sense God is saying, let go, just trust me, I have plans for your life.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, to give you a hope and a future not to harm you.”

Quote: “You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars, you have a right to be here and whether or not it is clear the universe unfolding as it should.” Max Ehrman.

Today’s Take-away:  You Belong

Reach out and Touch: For counselling and support pop me an email:

Wendy@beautifullifecommunity.co.za

Looking forward to connecting with you soon!

Thank you for sharing my journey,

Blessings,

Wendy

Never miss a story!

Beautiful Life Training Blog: Boundless

Meaning | Potential | Power| Purpose| Release the brakes

Boundless: ‘Seasons…….Life changes…Transitions

By Wendy La Vita | August,2022

Coming out…It’s a New Season

I noticed something amazing about plants, some of them have the ability to come back to life… so to speak. This beautiful plant in the picture was thrown out and left to die in the bin-room in our complex. My housemate decided to see if it would re-grow once it was watered and given a home amongst the other plants on our stoep…. just look at the beautiful flowers it produced!

Transitions

I haven’t written a blog for some time now, I guess I have been hibernating for the past few months, I was inspired a few days ago to share my thoughts and feelings about embracing change – transitioning from midlife to my senior years.

It has been a challenging time for me to accept the fact that I am aging. In my mind I am still young and energetic and full of plans for the future. It came as shock when I woke up on the day before my Golden Jubilee Birthday…. After having denied my age for years. I was about to be 60 years old in a day! Fortunately, I came across the Chinese philosophy that age 60 it is the beginning of ‘New Life’.
I immediately decided to embrace this mindset!

I am going have to believe that I am stepping into the beginning of a new life! Being in hibernation I thought about how we age… It seems that, when we in our thirties and forties it is still okay, but as time passes, you wake up one day and you discover that many of your plans did not come to fruition.

You might have had plans to go to university or buy a house or travel…but now it seems like we are stagnating or even regressing. At least that is how I feel at times. But let me encourage you it is a process. Beautiful Life Training and Community Development as an organisation has been running for twelve years and yet it is still not financially stable, and we are still working towards achieving our organisational goals every day. I have come to the realisation that Beautiful Life TCD is a God- breathed initiative and he holds the future.

You might be in the same boat. You might have had goals and dreams for the future, but it seems like it will never happen. Maybe its time to change our approach!?

Re-looking the dream

The Bible says there is a time for everything, there are seasons.  We might be in that season of winter and hibernation, planting and watering the seeds which you planted in your heart in the past. Maybe now is the time to work towards realising the dream. You want to write that book or start that business. Maybe now you can start looking at ways to make it a reality not only a dream. In time your plant will also blossom!

Determination: Don’t Give up on your dream

Yes, it takes a lot to be passionate and excited when its winter in your life, when it’s cold and raining and when you are struggling on your own, when you don’t see a change. Even though it is taking a long time to reach your goals, you may be in your youth, midlife, or late adulthood, regardless of your age, you would never have had that dream if it was unachievable. “Deep within you lies a seed of greatness waiting to be germinate ” Myles Munroe

Recently I met a priest whom I had not seen in years; I distinctly remember him because he was so charismatic. I was amazed to learn that he is still around at the age of 90 plus years….and very active. He is still excited about life and passionate about his work! He even has a Whatsapp group! Let’s just pause and think about how many sick people has he visited, how many families has he counselled, how many people has he encountered with problems and how many people did he bury in his lifetime? I had the privilege of having him pray for me. He prayed with faith and enthusiastically. It is amazing that this man over the age of ninety is still passionate about life. He looks like a man in his sixties!

This made me realise It does not matter how old you are, or where your come from, if you have a dream, You should pursue that dream, don’t let it go, it might not transpire in a day, in a month or in a year. Occasionally it happens over-night, but mostly it is a process, we have to keep going, and believing that we will achieve our goals, no matter what season of life you are experiencing, winter or autumn, spring- time or summer- time, your life matters. There is a time that things transpire….change does come.

Visualise the dream

The song,  I gotta believe by Yolanda Adams has inspired me so much, I hope it will encourage you too, especially this verse:

I have to see myself at the finish line
I have to visualize that everything will fall in line
I have to visualize the land while riding through the storm
I have to trust in my father and open up my heart
I know that I can do this I know that I can win
Just as long as I have his love within

I think this has been a very difficult time frame for many of us to deal with the changes in our lives. We have been challenged in many ways, but I believe we have the potential to produce wealth, in more ways than one, not only in the natural, but we have the ability to be more than we could ever imagine. We sometimes think because we are older; We’re too old to go back to school, to travel, or to make a difference. We limit ourselves, I want to encourage you to step out in faith, embrace this season in your life, no matter where you are at, walk with me along this journey called life or in my case ” New Life!”

QUOTE: ‘I believe I can fly! I believe I can touch the sky!’ Yolanda Adams

If you enjoyed my Blog, please share it with a friend. 🙂
I’d love to hear from you!
Email: info@beautifullifecommunity.co.za
Follow: https://www.facebook.com/Beautifullifecommunity

Looking forward to connecting with you soon!

Blessings,

Wendy 

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Mother’s Month: Flash back to one of our most popular blogs from May 2021

Beautiful Life Training Blog: Boundless

Meaning|Potential| Power|Purpose|Release the brakes.

The Art of Parenting: “My journey as a mother, the most beautiful time of my life.” By Wendy La Vita

Mystory in brief: I am the proud mom of a beautiful daughter, all of 24 years old. I enjoyed our journey together from conception up to this day! I was so excited when the nurse told me I was pregnant; I shared the news with the first person I saw outside in the waiting room, a guy I had not seen in years! So, from then onward I spoke to my unborn baby and read stories to her day and night. I wanted her to speak French which would be our love language since I can’t swear or shout in French!

Pregnancy: This was so exciting! Having someone to touch and talk to on the inside of my “tummy”, sharing what I was doing, eating, my plans for the day. I would start out with preparing a healthy breakfast, yogurt, fruit, and oats (book a wellness assessment if you want more advice).I also took my daily dose of supplements from Sportron, which I highly recommend, especially the Ultragard for optimum support and the Mental Fitness, which ensured that my hormones were balanced, and I was happy and healthy. I was in top form, no morning sickness or any medical complaints. One night I went to see the ballet, Gisele at the theatre, would you believe my baby was dancing in my womb all night long. I have many more fond memories to share of this time, best to follow my blog for more stories.

Birth: My Birthday Gift

I walked into the labour ward all happy and ready to pop ( as the saying goes). This turned out to be a special procedure which took a day or two before my bundle of joy was handed over to me…. Be that as it may it was the most amazing encounter! Meeting my gift from above sent with love. It’s a girl… up to that day I had no idea what the gender of my baby was. But I had a name in my heart since high school. I called her “GiGi” the French diminutive of Gisele ( which means promise/pledge and she is indeed my promise from God). I guess that explains why she was dancing in my womb throughout the ballet of Gisele. Would you believe she was born 6 days before my birthday?!

Taking Baby Home

Single Parenting Challenge:

I usually say baby is so good in hospital, she sleeps day and night, you even want to wake her to talk to her…lol wait till she gets home. I remember clearly giving GiGi a bath and the phone ringing…. it wouldn’t stop until I answered it. Guess who’s on the line?… It’s the police on the line. Baby is crying, I am flustered, and I tell the officer I can’t talk and hang up…only to have him call back immediately. This time he tells me not to hang up, my mother is trying to find my new flat and needs directions! I realised I needed a nanny to help and thank goodness for Doris. I remember another ‘crying time’ session, where baby cried non-stop, I told Doris to take her for a walk and not to come back until she stopped crying. So yes, I can relate to mothers who are at their wit’s end when you’ve tried everything, and baby won’t stop crying. It’s best to call a friend if you need a break, the saying “it takes a village to raise a child’’ is very true. One cannot be alone with a baby 24/7 ( please do read my previous blog about parenting: “A lesson from the birds” more about raising children together).

The Early Years

Fun times & Learning: Playing in the park was my absolute favourite; I loved swinging in the park with my girl and the jungle gym was super cool. This was our daily outing and I got to keep fit and bond with my little girl. She loved it so much that she wanted to go in the evening as well.  I told her the park is closed. (She accepted that answer. (See explaining things does help). Bedtime story time was another favourite, reading to my baby even while she was asleep ( sometimes I was up washing nappies till at 2am). But I never missed story time. Science has shown many positive effects of reading books, to name a few:

• It Strengthens the brain
• Builds vocabulary
• Aids sleep

Preschool

I prepared GiGi before she went to pre-school. I took her to the creche and told her that she was going there when she turned four. Every day when we passed the creche I reminded her about it. On the actual day she arrived at the creche the teacher said she had never seen a child so happy and excited about preschool. It turned out to be one of many preschools we had to visit before she was content to stay there until she was ready to leave for “Big School”. Yes, it can be very daunting finding the right fit for your child. But believe me it pays to allow her to make the choice about where and who she is going to stay with all day while you are at work.

Tweens & Teens

Gigi accompanied me everywhere, on the bus, the train, and to night school. I remember people asking,  where she was when I was on my own, because they expected us to be together all the time and they loved engaging with her because she was so bubbly and a “clever girl” like Doris used to say!

I enjoyed watching my girl growing up during this phase of physical and emotional change. As a parent, I adopted the authoritative parenting style. Authoritative parents respond to the emotional needs of the child while setting high standards. They set boundaries and are unswerving in enforcing restrictions. The authoritative parenting style produces the best results in children.  https://www.parentingforbrain.com/authoritative-parenting/#why

As mom I wanted to set an example for her follow, so I enrolled at varsity to pursue a degree. To my delight she followed in my footsteps and did well at school and is currently a Post Grad student at a prestigious university. It definitely pays to instil a love for learning in your children. You might want to read more about parenting styles to broaden your knowledge. I conducted a research study with parents and preadolescents ( pre-teens) on the topic, “The relationship between parenting style and prosocial behaviour of preadolescents in a South African context.”http://hdl.handle.net/10019.1/109308

Parenting a young adult

As my mother used to say, “ It does not matter how old you get; you will always be a child in my eyes”. Letting go has been the most difficult thing for me to do. When at first when my daughter moved out to go to varsity, I cried bitter tears, called her every day umpteen times, she will tell you and sometimes I still do ( a real worry pot). It has been such a wonderful experience to see her grow into an independent young lady and at the same time its not easy to let go(so, if you in this space remember you can call me or connect on our counselling line at any time). Looking ahead I am excited to see how my daughter’s life unfolds as a professional, future wife and mother and I can’t wait to be a grandmother! ( Nothing in the pipeline yet folks).

Reach Out & Touch: If you need a friend or just need to talk to someone, I am available for counselling and support. Email: info@beautifullifecommunity.co.za or WhatsApp: 0835030902

Quote: “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward,” writes Solomon in Psalm 127:3.

If you enjoyed my blog, http://www.beautifullifecommunity.co.za/blog-3.html
please share it on social media 🙂
I’d love to hear from you!
Email: info@beautifullifecommunity.co.za
Follow:  https://www.facebook.com/Beautifullifecommunity

Lots of love

Wendy

Never miss a story!

International Women’s Day 2022: Theme: Break The Bias

Beautiful Life Blog: Boundless

Meaning | Potential | Power| Purpose| Release the brakes

Republication of Beautiful Life TCD Women’s Day Blog 2020

Boundless: ‘Embracing all of Womanity; her beauty, brains, strength, vulnerability and passion’

By Wendy La Vita |March 08, 2022

You’re right, there is no such word as womanity in the English language. I made it up …just for fun, meaning the way woman think or are wired. (derived from the word humanity). Bearing that in mind, let’s look at Womanity from my vantage point, her beauty, brains and strength.

I hope you will enjoy my other side(this reminds me of a book about a woman called Eve, who had multiple personalities…). Any way according to a recent personality test I should be a comedian or a pilot! Join me as your pilot, as I explore womanity. Are you ready for take-off?

Beauty

When God saw everything, he had created it was very good!  (… when Adam saw Eve, he was at a loss for words he exclaimed, “Wow Man!” The Wow Factor: Eve was part of Adam, (see Genesis chapter 1 & 2) so she was human, and he could relate to her as a person. On the outside she was good to look at; beautiful. Adam was excited to have someone to share his life with because before God created Eve, he only had animals as friends. But when Eve came along, he had someone to talk to and a helpmate; meaning she had beauty and brains. She was created as a helper that was suitable for Adam. The Lord God said, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

In other words, Eve was perfect for Adam, complete in every way. God made Eve soft on the outside; but strong enough to bear children and gentle enough to care for them and smart enough to home-school them. As Adam’s helpmate she was equipped to deal with the animals in the Garden of Eden; meaning Eve was a strong woman, but needed her mate to protect her from the wild animals as God said; “Two are better than one, when one falls down the other can help him up.”

However, she does not have to compete with Adam in any way because she has been designed uniquely.

In the current climate Eve appears to be taking over Adams persona in many ways; having to prove her strength. The other day I went to the shops and saw a lady manager lifting boxes, pushing trolleys and in response to my remark about her working too hard she replied, “I have to show the men that I am able to do anything they can do.” No doubt some woman are physically strong; but why exert yourself when you can delegate? As I am flying across the freeway, I see a lady driver and her male companion asleep next to her, while she is looking stressed in peak hour traffic… I begin to wonder… is she really in control? Now don’t misunderstand me I totally understand the importance of independence and need to be mobile today. But I am wondering is it possible that in the 21st century men are still in charge? and simply taking a back seat; while we gals take-over the workload instead?

Makes me wonder…why not enjoy the pleasure of being treated like a lady.

Remember that old song by The Temptations, Treat Her Like A Lady:

“Now I’m the kinda guy who don’t believe

That chivalry is dead, no

‘Cause I believe a woman should be treated

With the utmost respect, mmm

Now I like opening doors

Pickin’ up her hanky off the floor

Treat her like a lady”

Brains

Flyinghigher, let’s talk about that Grey Matter –The brain

In the male and female brain there are many neurological differences, while we won’t go into detail right now, researchers propose that the way we are wired results in men and woman having different strengths(Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera, 2019). One sex is not better than the other in totality. However, research findings report that one sex may be better in certain respects. For example; men are better at performing single tasks; while women are better at multi-tasking. Women are better at attention, word memory and social cognition, and verbal abilities. Men are better at spatial processing and sensor imotor speed. Women are better at fine-motor coordination and retrieving information from long-term memory (Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera, 2019). Which explains why women tend to recall so accurately the past mistakes of their mates…right ladies?

To expand on this, research has found that certain sex-specific behaviours seem to be innate, not learned, which suggests that there is some hard wiring (structural differences) happening in our brain(Pascale and Primavera, 2019). For example, male monkeys prefer toys with wheels as opposed to female monkeys who prefer plush toys. On a higher level, when observing human toddlers, a preference is shown for sex-specific toys long before they know their own gender; and they show some of the perceptual differences found in adults.(Pascale and Primavera, 2019). (Extract from Male and Female Brains ‘Are they wired differently?’ Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera, 2019).

Strength

God created our bodies, brains and emotions (passions) to be strong in ways that match his unique design for us as men and women. The male body has an average of 11,793 kilograms more skeletal muscle, 40% more upper-body strength and 33% more lower body strength than women. On the other hand, female muscles can resist fatigue better and recover quicker.(Extract from Solid Joys article by Mary A. Kassian).

I guess by now it is clear that we differ on so many levels and the need to compete is totally unnecessary.

“Attention ladies and gentlemen landing is in 2 minutes, fasten your seat belts and prepare to land at Beautiful Life International Airport!” 

Back home after our journey together (I hope you enjoyed the flight)!?

In my humble opinion; it takes a strong woman to carry a baby inside her body for nine months, give birth to a child and nurse her baby immediately after hours of labour. No man has the capacity to compete with a woman on that level.

So, without any further delay as we land remember “You are very special”

“In all the world there is nobody like you. Since the beginning of time there has never been another person like you. Nobody has your smile, your eyes, your hands, your hair. Nobody owns your handwriting, your voice.

You’re Special. Nobody can paint your brush strokes. Nobody has your taste for food or music or dance or art. Nobody in the universe sees things as you do. You’re special.

In all time there has never been anyone who laughs in exactly your way. You’re different from any other person who has ever lived in the history of the universe. You are the only one in the whole of creation who has your particular set of abilities. Nobody in the universe can reach the quality of the combination of your talents, your feelings.

Through all eternity no one will ever walk, talk, think or do exactly like you. You’re special. You’re rare and in all rarity there is enormous value and because of your great value the need for you to imitate anyone else is absolutely wrong. You’re special, and it is no accident you are. Please realise that God made you for a special purpose. He has a job for you to do that nobody else can do as well as you can. Out of the billions of applicants, only one qualified. Only one has the unique and right combination of what it takes and that one is You. You’re Special” – Unknown Author

If you enjoyed my blog please share it on social media.

Looking forward to connecting with you soon!

Blessings,

Wendy La Vita

Email: info@beautifullifecommunity.co.za
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Beautifullifecommunity
Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/BeautifulLife24
Blog: http: //www.beautiful life community.co.za/blog-3html

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Beautiful Life Training Blog

Wendy La Vita February , 2022
Boundless: Meaning|Potential |Power| Purpose|Release the brakes.

Valentines Day 14: February 2022
Rerun of The face of love
“Looking at love through a different lens”

Dedicated to Amy Kitty

We met a year ago when I moved into a new apartment as a retro student in the university town of Stellenbosch.

She was very distant but came by every day to say hello and for a little love and attention.

Yours truly needing a friend in the new neighborhood was very happy to make her acquaintance.

I began to look out for her every morning and evening at supper time. Over a period of time our bond grew…..

Follow this heart rending story about Agape Love on:

www.beautifullifecommunity.co.za/blog-3.html

Republished as we celebrate Love and enjoy Amy’s legacy: 4 adorable kittens now a year old!

Never miss a story!

Beautiful Life Training Blog

Wendy La Vita November, 2021
Boundless: Meaning|Potential |Power| Purpose|Release the brakes.

Global Thanksgiving Day! 25 November 2021

Thanksgiving Day? not too sure what that’s about … we’ve all heard of the American festivals Black Friday and Cyber Monday… it’s so commercialised right.… so why not celebrate the American festival, Thanksgiving Day globally?

F.Y. I.

“Thanksgiving Day is the one day, every year when Americans celebrate the harvest and blessings of the past year. The focus is on enjoying a delicious big meal, turkey is a must have.  

Spending time with family and friends, having fun and festivals. And giving thanks to God for his goodness.” Ronald C. Jordan, Believers Voice of Victory.

Turkey looks delicious…yum… but let’s reflect for a moment, shall we?

Looking Back over the past year with gratitude.

This year has been a difficult year with many challenges for most of us, given the impact of the Covid-19 Pandemic on our lives. I do not want to dwell on the negatives because my blog is intended to uplift your spirits!  

So here goes my gratitude list, stop me if you want to interrupt to add yours as we go along….

I am grateful to God for my health and that of my family members who have all overcome an encounter with the Corona Virus. My God is bigger than any virus. You can read all about my victory in my previous blog “The Bug Stops Here!” http://www.beautifullifecommunity.co.za/blog-3.html

Food on the table….Shocking results from a recent study of families on the Cape Flats, on the outskirts of Cape Town, South Africa revealed at least once a week a family goes to bed hungry. I have been blessed with food on my table every day…. in actual fact, I know what it is to be unemployed and hungry, if you need a meal do reach out to our counselling team for support.

Create your own gratitude list, I would like to encourage you to make a list on Thanksgiving Day, 25 November 2021 of all the good things you have been blessed with, remember its not only material things that counts. I am especially grateful for my gift from above Gisele, who has been a real blessing! Can’t imagine what I would do without her, my promise from God. Go on thank your family members too…

And most of all I thank God for blessing me with the gift of Joy! The bible verse comes to mind, “The joy of the Lord is my strength ”Nehemiah 8:10

Joy is not happiness but an inner experience of fulfilment and enthusiasm for life.  I have been blessed with this gift from God, yes there has been times when I lost it because of life’s challenges, but the secret is to remain connected to the source of all Joy and peace. I have come to realise that the enemy tries to steal our joy, but we have to engage actively in positive behaviour. Feeding our inner man with positive words and remember words have power! One of the most powerful words is “ Thank-you” it has a positive effect on the receiver and inspires positive results.

To Do/ Take-aways

Let’s try this for a week, thank family, friends, co-workers and everyone you engage with in shops etc and see what effect it has on you and them. Journal your experiences every night before bedtime…… lets skip scrolling on social media at bedtime…reframe your mind with positive thoughts and remember to give thanks to God for all his blessings!

Back to my Thanksgiving list…

Sharing is Caring, I would like to invite you to make a special Thanksgiving Day Gift towards our ‘Buckets of Love Campaign’ to celebrate generosity with children and families in need this Festive Season.

Gift Now:

https://www.givengain.com/cause/10911/campaigns/18617/donate

Your Thank You Gift:  All donors will receive an Online Copy of Hakim La Rocca’s book, DIY Retreat, How to massage your partner and cookbook ensemble!

Reach out and Touch: Remember if your need a friend this festive season our counselling line is Always ON: 0835030902 or email: info@beaufifullifecommunity.co.za

Never miss a story! Subscribe to my blog Email:

info@beautifullifecommunity.co.za

Thank you for sharing my journey,

Happy Holidays!

Blessings,

Wendy

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Beautiful Life Blog: Boundless

Meaning|Potential |Power| Purpose|Release the brakes.

By Wendy La Vita |September 24, 2021

‘The Bug Stops Here’
( I’m indulging in poetic licence )

 Oh No Corona! Not my Virgin hair!

I’m not sure if you are familiar with hairdressing terms? Virgin hair I am told is untreated, uncoloured, au naturél…. the lovely black hair I was blessed with.
Having said that to my horror after a scavenger called the Corona Virus got under my skin my body was robbed of nutrients. My hair started falling out, my nails got brittle and I was tired all the time. And bawling my eyes out over my tresses… Now if you know me that’s not my profile. I am usually up and away, as someone called me “Zip Zap Wendy”
This hair-fall-out issue sent me to my computer, aka “Dr Google” to find a solution. (Yes, of course as a health-conscious individual I was trying to follow a healthy diet but alas, the Corona Virus got to me too). Thank goodness it was a mild infection and I could nurse myself back to health the natural way. In brief, I took high doses of vitamins and minerals, ate healthy meals and enjoyed mother nature’s source of Vitamin D the sunshine vitamin and lots of rest.

Heritage Day Give-away: Enjoy a free Lifestyle Analysis from 24 – 30 September 2021 compliments Beautiful Life Training & Community Development. Like & Follow our FaceBook page: https://www.facebook.com/Beautifullifecommunity

Back to the root cause of my hair loss problem. The Corona Virus and its variants are reported to be linked to hair loss and anaemia, and a number of other conditions. Our hair needs vitamins and minerals too…. so that old story about hair loss and going grey prematurely being hereditary is questionable. A healthy diet rich in B Vitamins, Vit D and minerals namely Iron and Magnesium play a vital role in hair health. (Symptoms of iron deficiency are hair loss, dizzy spells, pale skin and brittle nails among others).

I have been using the Sportron natural supplements for many years and recommend them highly. I just got my supply of Sportron Skin, Hair and Nails. It’s available on order Whatsapp: 0835030902 15% of the proceeds go towards Beautiful Life Training and Community Development projects.

That old devil called Corona tries to destroy our bodies, but our systems are designed to win the battle with the help of our friends called Nutrients, so thanks to a diet rich in organic fruits, vegetables, fish and lean meats like the Mediterranean Diet, which I highly recommend along with my natural food supplements from Sportron InternationaI, I am kicking butt!

Why not gift a ‘Love Bucket’ packed with goodies for the elderly this Heritage Month on our website. http://beautifullifecommunity.co.za/fundraising-campaigns.html

Donor Prize

You stand a chance to win a copy of The New Mediterranean Diet Cookbook proudly sponsored by Dr Norwitz. Written by Martina Slajerova, Thomas DeLauer, Nicholas Norwitz, Rohan Kashid
Available on Amazon ( Ships to SA)

References

Never miss a story!

Back by popular demand!

Our blog” Embracing all of Womanity” received the most subscriptions last year and our readers recalled it to inspire women again this Women’s Day 9 August 2021

Beautiful Life Blog: Boundless

Meaning | Potential | Power| Purpose| Release the brakes

Women’s Day:  ‘Embracing all of Womanity; her beauty, brains, strength, vulnerability and passion’

By Wendy La Vita |August 09, 2021

You’re right, there is no such word as womanity in the English language. I made it up …just for fun, meaning the way woman think or are wired. (derived from the word humanity). Bearing that in mind, let’s look at Womanity from my vantage point, her beauty, brains and strength.

I hope you will enjoy my other side(this reminds me of a book about a woman called Eve, who had multiple personalities…). Any way according to a recent personality test I should be a comedian or a pilot! Join me as your pilot, as I explore womanity. Are you ready for take-off?

Beauty

When God saw everything, he had created it was very good!  (… when Adam saw Eve, he was at a loss for words he exclaimed, “Wow Man!” The Wow Factor: Eve was part of Adam, (see Genesis chapter 1 & 2) so she was human, and he could relate to her as a person. On the outside she was good to look at; beautiful. Adam was excited to have someone to share his life with because before God created Eve, he only had animals as friends. But when Eve came along, he had someone to talk to and a helpmate; meaning she had beauty and brains. She was created as a helper that was suitable for Adam. The Lord God said, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

In other words, Eve was perfect for Adam, complete in every way. God made Eve soft on the outside; but strong enough to bear children and gentle enough to care for them and smart enough to home-school them. As Adam’s helpmate she was equipped to deal with the animals in the Garden of Eden; meaning Eve was a strong woman, but needed her mate to protect her from the wild animals as God said; “Two are better than one, when one falls down the other can help him up.”

However, she does not have to compete with Adam in any way because she has been designed uniquely.

In the current climate Eve appears to be taking over Adams persona in many ways; having to prove her strength. The other day I went to the shops and saw a lady manager lifting boxes, pushing trolleys and in response to my remark about her working too hard she replied, “I have to show the men that I am able to do anything they can do.” No doubt some woman are physically strong; but why exert yourself when you can delegate? As I am flying across the freeway, I see a lady driver and her male companion asleep next to her, while she is looking stressed in peak hour traffic… I begin to wonder… is she really in control? Now don’t misunderstand me I totally understand the importance of independence and need to be mobile today. But I am wondering is it possible that in the 21st century men are still in charge? and simply taking a back seat; while we gals take-over the workload instead?

Makes me wonder…why not enjoy the pleasure of being treated like a lady.

Remember that old song by The Temptations, Treat Her Like A Lady:

“Now I’m the kinda guy who don’t believe

That chivalry is dead, no

‘Cause I believe a woman should be treated

With the utmost respect, mmm

Now I like opening doors

Pickin’ up her hanky off the floor

Treat her like a lady”

Brains

Flyinghigher, let’s talk about that Grey Matter –The brain

In the male and female brain there are many neurological differences, while we won’t go into detail right now, researchers propose that the way we are wired results in men and woman having different strengths(Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera, 2019). One sex is not better than the other in totality. However, research findings report that one sex may be better in certain respects. For example; men are better at performing single tasks; while women are better at multi-tasking. Women are better at attention, word memory and social cognition, and verbal abilities. Men are better at spatial processing and sensor imotor speed. Women are better at fine-motor coordination and retrieving information from long-term memory (Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera, 2019). Which explains why women tend to recall so accurately the past mistakes of their mates…right ladies?

To expand on this, research has found that certain sex-specific behaviours seem to be innate, not learned, which suggests that there is some hard wiring (structural differences) happening in our brain(Pascale and Primavera, 2019). For example, male monkeys prefer toys with wheels as opposed to female monkeys who prefer plush toys. On a higher level, when observing human toddlers, a preference is shown for sex-specific toys long before they know their own gender; and they show some of the perceptual differences found in adults.(Pascale and Primavera, 2019). (Extract from Male and Female Brains ‘Are they wired differently?’ Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera, 2019).

Strength

God created our bodies, brains and emotions (passions) to be strong in ways that match his unique design for us as men and women. The male body has an average of 11,793 kilograms more skeletal muscle, 40% more upper-body strength and 33% more lower body strength than women. On the other hand, female muscles can resist fatigue better and recover quicker.(Extract from Solid Joys article by Mary A. Kassian).

I guess by now it is clear that we differ on so many levels and the need to compete is totally unnecessary.

“Attention ladies and gentlemen landing is in 2 minutes, fasten your seat belts and prepare to land at Beautiful Life International Airport!” 

Back home after our journey together (I hope you enjoyed the flight)!?

In my humble opinion; it takes a strong woman to carry a baby inside her body for nine months, give birth to a child and nurse her baby immediately after hours of labour. No man has the capacity to compete with a woman on that level.

So, without any further delay as we land remember “You are very special”

“In all the world there is nobody like you. Since the beginning of time there has never been another person like you. Nobody has your smile, your eyes, your hands, your hair. Nobody owns your handwriting, your voice.

You’re Special. Nobody can paint your brush strokes. Nobody has your taste for food or music or dance or art. Nobody in the universe sees things as you do. You’re special.

In all time there has never been anyone who laughs in exactly your way. You’re different from any other person who has ever lived in the history of the universe. You are the only one in the whole of creation who has your particular set of abilities. Nobody in the universe can reach the quality of the combination of your talents, your feelings.

Through all eternity no one will ever walk, talk, think or do exactly like you. You’re special. You’re rare and in all rarity there is enormous value and because of your great value the need for you to imitate anyone else is absolutely wrong. You’re special, and it is no accident you are. Please realise that God made you for a special purpose. He has a job for you to do that nobody else can do as well as you can. Out of the billions of applicants, only one qualified. Only one has the unique and right combination of what it takes and that one is You. You’re Special” – Unknown Author

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Looking forward to connecting with you soon!

Blessings,

Wendy La Vita

Email: info@beautifullifecommunity.co.za
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Meaning|Potential| Power|Purpose|Release the brakes.

‘Overcoming Life’s Struggles in the face of adversity’ by Wendy La Vita

The Art of Parenting: Mother aka Executive Director
Topic: My journey as a mother, the most beautiful time of my life.
Mothers’ Day & My Birthday 09:05: 2021 (Double Blessing)
Dedicated to my daughter: Gisele La Vita

Mystory in brief: I am the proud mom of a beautiful daughter, all of 24 years old. I enjoyed our journey together from conception up to this day! I was so excited when the nurse told me I was pregnant; I shared the news with the first person I saw outside in the waiting room, a guy I had not seen in years! So, from then onward I spoke to my unborn baby and read stories to her day and night. I wanted her to speak French which would be our love language since I can’t swear or shout in French!

Pregnancy: This was so exciting! Having someone to touch and talk to on the inside of my “tummy”, sharing what I was doing, eating, my plans for the day. I would start out with preparing a healthy breakfast, yogurt, fruit, and oats (book a wellness assessment if you want more advice).I also took my daily dose of supplements from Sportron, which I highly recommend, especially the Ultragard for optimum support and the Mental Fitness, which ensured that my hormones were balanced, and I was happy and healthy. I was in top form, no morning sickness or any medical complaints. One night I went to see the ballet, Gisele at the theatre, would you believe my baby was dancing in my womb all night long. I have many more fond memories to share of this time, best to follow my blog for more stories.

Birth: My Birthday Gift

I walked into the labour ward all happy and ready to pop ( as the saying goes). This turned out to be a special procedure which took a day or two before my bundle of joy was handed over to me…. Be that as it may it was the most amazing encounter! Meeting my gift from above sent with love. It’s a girl… up to that day I had no idea what the gender of my baby was. But I had a name in my heart since high school. I called her “GiGi” the French diminutive of Gisele ( which means promise/pledge and she is indeed my promise from God). I guess that explains why she was dancing in my womb throughout the ballet of Gisele. Would you believe she was born 6 days before my birthday?!

Taking Baby Home

Single Parenting Challenge:

I usually say baby is so good in hospital, she sleeps day and night, you even want to wake her to talk to her…lol wait till she gets home. I remember clearly giving GiGi a bath and the phone ringing…. it wouldn’t stop until I answered it. Guess who’s on the line?… It’s the police on the line. Baby is crying, I am flustered, and I tell the officer I can’t talk and hang up…only to have him call back immediately. This time he tells me not to hang up, my mother is trying to find my new flat and needs directions! I realised I needed a nanny to help and thank goodness for Doris. I remember another ‘crying time’ session, where baby cried non-stop, I told Doris to take her for a walk and not to come back until she stopped crying. So yes, I can relate to mothers who are at their wit’s end when you’ve tried everything, and baby won’t stop crying. It’s best to call a friend if you need a break, the saying “it takes a village to raise a child’’ is very true. One cannot be alone with a baby 24/7 ( please do read my previous blog about parenting: “A lesson from the birds” more about raising children together).

The Early Years

Fun times & Learning: Playing in the park was my absolute favourite; I loved swinging in the park with my girl and the jungle gym was super cool. This was our daily outing and I got to keep fit and bond with my little girl. She loved it so much that she wanted to go in the evening as well.  I told her the park is closed. (She accepted that answer. (See explaining things does help). Bedtime story time was another favourite, reading to my baby even while she was asleep ( sometimes I was up washing nappies till at 2am). But I never missed story time. Science has shown many positive effects of reading books, to name a few:

• It Strengthens the brain
• Builds vocabulary
• Aids sleep

Preschool

I prepared GiGi before she went to pre-school. I took her to the creche and told her that she was going there when she turned four. Every day when we passed the creche I reminded her about it. On the actual day she arrived at the creche the teacher said she had never seen a child so happy and excited about preschool. It turned out to be one of many preschools we had to visit before she was content to stay there until she was ready to leave for “Big School”. Yes, it can be very daunting finding the right fit for your child. But believe me it pays to allow her to make the choice about where and who she is going to stay with all day while you are at work.

Tweens & Teens

Gigi accompanied me everywhere, on the bus, the train, and to night school. I remember people asking,  where she was when I was on my own, because they expected us to be together all the time and they loved engaging with her because she was so bubbly and a “clever girl” like Doris used to say!

I enjoyed watching my girl growing up during this phase of physical and emotional change. As a parent, I adopted the authoritative parenting style. Authoritative parents respond to the emotional needs of the child while setting high standards. They set boundaries and are unswerving in enforcing restrictions. The authoritative parenting style produces the best results in children.  https://www.parentingforbrain.com/authoritative-parenting/#why

As mom I wanted to set an example for her follow, so I enrolled at varsity to pursue a degree. To my delight she followed in my footsteps and did well at school and is currently a Post Grad student at a prestigious university. It definitely pays to instil a love for learning in your children. You might want to read more about parenting styles to broaden your knowledge. I conducted a research study with parents and preadolescents ( pre-teens) on the topic, “The relationship between parenting style and prosocial behaviour of preadolescents in a South African context.”http://hdl.handle.net/10019.1/109308

Parenting a young adult

As my mother used to say, “ It does not matter how old you get; you will always be a child in my eyes”. Letting go has been the most difficult thing for me to do. When at first when my daughter moved out to go to varsity, I cried bitter tears, called her every day umpteen times, she will tell you and sometimes I still do ( a real worry pot). It has been such a wonderful experience to see her grow into an independent young lady and at the same time its not easy to let go(so, if you in this space remember you can call me or connect on our counselling line at any time). Looking ahead I am excited to see how my daughter’s life unfolds as a professional, future wife and mother and I can’t wait to be a grandmother! ( Nothing in the pipeline yet folks).

Reach Out & Touch: If you need a friend or just need to talk to someone, I am available for counselling and support. Email: info@beautifullifecommunity.co.za or WhatsApp: 0835030902

Quote: “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward,” writes Solomon in Psalm 127:3.

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Lots of love

Wendy

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‘Overcoming Life’s Struggles in the face of adversity’
The face of love: Looking at love through a different lens

Dedicated to My Cat: Amy Kitty

Wendy La Vita |February 12, 2021

Looking at love through a different lens

Agape love

We met a year ago when I moved into a new apartment as a retro student in the university town of Stellenbosch. She was very distant but came by every day to say hello and for a little love and attention. Yours truly needing a friend in the new neighborhood was very happy to make her acquaintance. I began to look out for her every morning and evening at supper time. Over a period of time our bond grew, and I named her Amy Kitty. She became part of the family. I even went shopping for cat food, would you believe it, now if your know me, I avoid the pet food isle at all costs ( smells funny). Be that as it may, it became a regular item on my shopping list along with my chocolates . Amy Kitty moved into the flat and left a legacy of four adorable kittens who brings us great joy and a sense of love and belonging in this big wide world. A fond memory of her is that she had the most amazing ability to call my house mate’s name “Mel” when she was hungry or needed her litter box to be cleared. She was a real little lady!

Amy became sick and needed major medical treatment and it breaks my heart to share that she was too sick to survive. We lost a member of our family and the kittens lost their mother. You may not be able to understand our emotions, but I am sharing this because this experience has taught me how others feel about the loss of a pet ( a loved one). Sharing this story has been such a cathartic exercise, I would encourage you to journal about your life experiences as well.

I have learned that animals also need love and affection and can fill a void in one’s life especially when you in need of a friend, feeling lonely or on days when you just need a hug. 🤗

Health Benefits of owning a pet

• Spending time with pets increases opportunities to exercise, meet people and enjoy the outdoors.

• Regular walking or playing with animals may decrease blood pressure, cholesterol and triglyceride levels (fats levels in the body).

• Pets are good companions and can help to manage loneliness and depression.

Research has shown that the bond between animal lovers and their pets might increase fitness, reduce stress levels and be a source of happiness to the animal lover. www.cdc.gov/healthypets/health-benefits/

Agape love

Agape love is universal love, for example the love for God, strangers, nature or animals. It’s not dependent on flirtation or familiarity. This type of love is also called charity in modern day terms Agape encompasses the concept of altruism, described as the selfless concern for the well being of others. Recent studies associates altruism with better mental and physical health and even greater longevity.
Psychologytoday.com

Life Application Exercise: Share the LOVE

“ Love is an easy word to say, but a difficult one, sometimes to live out. You see love isn’t just a noun, a thing that you have or don’t have. It’s a verb a doing word. Love is something we meant to do.  There’s someone out there who needs that love.” Extracted from ‘Fresh’ by Berni Dymet christianityworks.com
Reach Out & Touch: If you need a friend or just need to talk to someone,I am available for counseling and support.
Email: info@beautifullifecommunity.co.za or WhatsApp: 0835030902

Quote: “A friend loves at all times” Proverbs 17:17

If you enjoyed my blog, http://www.beautifullifecommunity.co.za/blog-3.html
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Lots of love

Wendy

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Beautiful Life Training Blog

Boundless: Meaning | Potential | Power | Purpose | Release the brakes.

Topic: Roller Coaster Ride 2020 …Always ON!!

Wendy La Vita | 2 December, 2020

How does one turn off the ‘Always On’ button?

It just feels like I’ve been on this roller-coaster ride for most of my adult life … but this year 2020 has been the most stressful year for most of us, needless to say. Living in the 21^st century, always on. It seems like we constantly doing something. There’s just no time to do nothing… sit still for a moment.  Some of us are at that place where you can’t go on holiday, its seem like you have so much on your platter but so little time, but you desperately need one, which is where I am at this point in time. So,I just figured you know what? One should just go on holiday at home… turn off that ‘Always On Button’.

Why not go on holiday at home?

Source: www.istock.com

Grace under pressure

If you have been following my blogs you might recall we adopted a homeless cat… or we thought, lol turns out she was the neighbours cat. Be that as it may Amy Kitty moved in with us. Amy Kitty and her four adorable kittens are a story on their own… (see previous blog). Guess what? Now I am the mom of little ones all over, I can relate to moms of babies and children who says I don’t have any time to myself. You know, I think I am going to have a shower; would you believe the kittens also want to take a shower… use the loo or brush their teeth with me. That’s how moms feel at times, overwhelmed, you just don’t have break, there’s this constant demand for your attention. It feels like you just want to run away but where to? It seems there’s just no escape, talk about Lockdown!!

So as a professional, running a non-profit organisation, studying and family life; having to put all this together, it seems like there is just never a time to take it easy. Looking back to 2019 I had a very demanding year and like many others thought 2020 was going to be my year! Last year I submitted my master’s thesis only to discover that my work had to be assessed for approval and after much deliberation and sleepless nights throughout 2020 the thesis was completed and submitted and at last, I can say it is finished!

Added to this of course I was out there working in the mall behind a screen and mask; fundraising amidst tight security guards, watching our empty donation box… “times are tough” I hear all the time in response to my polite request for donation to help to feed a hungry family in crisis during the COVID 19 Pandemic. 

My life in a nutshell: Fundraising in the mall, school visits and community outreach in the midst of COVID 19, commuting back home in the traffic, getting back into the kitchen as the a la carte chef at Chez la Vie cooking up a storm! (Best to check out my Facebook page for the menu) and needless to say being online Zooming around the world 24/7 to connecting with the global community…. the To Do list is endless.

It seems like I have been on this treadmill forever… I had to find a place to relax, I figured I need to do relaxation exercises’, which has been a lifesaver… without my yoga and daily prayer time I would never be able to keep the pace going… If you need to unwind why not join me for a stress relief exercise, let’s do a practice session now shall we? 

Relaxation Exercise

1. Sit or lie in a comfortable position.
2. Put one hand on your belly just below your ribs and the other on your chest.
3. Take a deep breath in through your nose, and let your belly push your hand out. Your chest should not move.
4. Breathe out through pursed lips as if your whistling. Feel the hand on your belly in and use it to push all the air out.
5. Do this breathing 3 to 10 times. Take your time with each breath.
6. Notice how you feel at the end of the exercise. Belly breathing is easy to do and very relaxing. Try this basic exercise anytime you need to relax or relieve stress. Credits G. Moolman

Mid-week break-away-Holiday at home…

Let’s make a date just with yours truly no cell phones, watch your all-time movie, mine is Garfield, l don’t need to get all scientific to tell your that laughter is the best medicine. Dig out that old children’s story and read yourself a bed-time story, I love Heidi…you got to just be a child for a day…let go and relax the mind, imagine you have nothing better to do… just try it switch off the cell phone, I promise the world is not going to end while your cell phone is off. While you are watching the movie or reading your book; just be fully present enjoy the moment. That makes me think about chocolate… try this with me …unwrap the chocolate, smell it, taste it, you might just discover new taste buds…. Enjoy the present…chocolate has been known to be an aphrodisiac amongst other things… Just have a do-nothing day! It helps to release the brakes, it helps to get rid of that inner tension, that feeling of being so stressed, just say today I am going to say NO to the world and YES to me! Just do it try this exercise, don’t take it from me… it will relax you so much, you guaranteed to sleep better no more waking up in the middle of the night.

I find something sorely lacking in our busy lives is …FUN… it one of the basic needs of a balanced life,along with Survival, Love and Belonging, Power, and Freedom as identified by William Glasser, MD.
So if you can’t go for a walk or a hike in the forest why not go to the park, play a game of soccer or swing in the park with the kids… just do it even if you the only adult in the park… you will find that you actually love it and do it more often… there’s a host of benefits to play… Play is said to release feel good endorphins ( chat some more about that next time).
So why not say,“today I’m going to the movies by myself, just try it get that childrens’ story book, find it, the hard copy, just do this exercise no computer screen, no cell phone and be a child for a day, have FUN!
Go to the country in your own garden, back-yard or bedroom, stop the clock and enjoy the present moment… Just take a holiday even if its just one day “Take a Holiday”Play that old CD, and allow the music to take your on a trip……
Benefits of music: Relieves stress, reduces anxiety, and depression, reduces agitation, and lightens the mood. Dr Jonathan Graff Radford.

Reflection

Throughout the universe there is order. In the movement of the planets, in nature and in the functioning of the human mind.
A mind that is in its natural state of order, is in harmony with the universe such a mind is timeless.
Your life is an expression of your mind. You are the creator of your own Universe.
Go forth with love…. Extract from Time by Sir Laurence Olivier

Bon Voyage… remember if your need a friend this festive season our counselling line is Always ON: 0835030902 or to book to a relaxation session email: info@beautifullifecommunity.co.za

On the lighter side of life: Someone stole my antidepressants, whoever they are, I hope they’re happy. Richard Scott

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please share it on social media 🙂
Happy Holidays!🙂

Wendy La Vita

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Beautiful Life Training

Boundless: Meaning|Potential |Power| Purpose|Release the brakes.

Theme: The Art of Parenting

By Wendy La Vita | 7 October , 2020

A Thought Provoking Analogy : A Lesson From The Birds:

I discovered a bird’s nest on the roof of my veranda to my chagrin. Being a city-slicker who moved to the country recently, I was most annoyed by this. I had the nest removed immediately. Leading a busy life I forgot about it completely.

A few days later while enjoying the country air, I looked up because I heard the sound of birds on the roof again.

To my surpirse the birds had rebuilt the best. I was about to chase the bird away, when I discovered that it was a hen sitting on her nest. Being a mother I realised that she had made a home for her chicks which she was expecting. Naturally I could not disturb them.

I started to observe the birds every day thereafter. The hen would sit on the eggs part of the day and the cock would relieve her. Giving her a chance to fly. They would bring food and feathers for each other. It was amazing to observe this relationship between the two birds. There were times when both, the hen and the cock sat in the nest to keep the eggs warm and safe.

As you can imagine I got busy and again forgot about the birds. To my surpise a few weeks later I was awakened by the chirping of two little birds who had hatched from the eggs.

Now my interest was perked once more, country living so beautiful! 
I noticed that the cock left the nest and came back to feed the chicks and the hen every day. Later as they got bigger the cock (male) spent time with the young birds ( their offspring) teaching them to fly.  I found this amazing. Both birds ( parents took equal responsibility for the wellbeing and education of the chicks (offspring).
At no point was the  hen (female) left to fend for herself or the chicks alone. When the young birds were able to feed themselves and fly the whole family took off and flew away to their new home I guess.

Life Application

What I learned from the birds:

• Parents are jointly responsible for the family from conception to early adulthood.
• It is both parents responsibilty to teach their young to fend for themselves to become independant individuals.
• The cock (male) did not abandon the mother of his offspring when they discovered she was pregnant.
• The male bird protected the hen and the chicks day and night. He fulfilled his role as the father figure.
• They built a nest (home) for their family together and provided for their needs jointly. ( An egalitarian relationship).
• The outcome was: A happy family who sang together, worked together and stayed together.
• The youngsters were ready to leave the nest. The sky’s The Limit!

Quote for the day:  We may not be able to prepare the future for our children, but we can at least prepare our children for the future. Franklin D. Rooseveldt

“Shaping a generation together”

Reach out & Touch:  Parenting can be challenging to master on your own. If you have any questions or you need guidance and support please contact or counselling line: info@beautifullifecommunity.co.za

Wendy

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Stormi’s Miracle

Meaning|Potential| Power|Purpose|Release the brakes

“Overcoming lifes struggles in the face of adversity”

Category Faith: “God Cares For Us”

By Wendy La Vita |September 12, 2020

I hope you remember my story about Amy-Kitty, shared in my previous blogs. It seems there is a follow up blog…☺ My whole life has been turned topsy turvy by Amy-Kitty who we adopted with her family of four cute kittens. Amy had to adapt to living with us as well; as you know, living with others can be trying especially given that she was used to running around outside and enjoying her freedom.
I guess you can relate to this lack of freedom as being in lock-down is not easy.On Tuesday I decided to give Amy a little freedom and let her go for a run outside after a week indoors. Amy-Kitty did not want to come back inside to nurse the kittens. I, in my wisdom decided to put two of the kittens outside in their basket to lure Amy-Kitty back inside. To my horror, she ran to the basket grabbed little Stormi and ran off with her into the school grounds adjacent to our apartment.It happend within seconds. I was in a state of shock. I immediately called the school to ask them to look for Stormi. Alas, no news from the school. My entire family and all the children on the block went out looking for Stormi who was only two weeks old. I went to the school and spoke to the principal who said she would contact me if they found Stormi.That night Amy-Kitty cried all night because guess what? she came home but did not bring Stormi back with her. We all cried. I prayed and asked God to protect Stormi wherever she was. My daughter G, who loved Stormi and planned on keeping her was heart-broken. She was certain Stormi was a gonna. I told her Stormi was in the school and prayed every day she would come back. Now that was most unlikely I said it to console G of course.We missed Stormi terribly. On Friday, three days after Stormi had gone missing, I got a call from the principal at the school saying a kitten had been found! She was very scared and hungry but alive!  Stormi survived without water, mothers milk and being stuck in a gutter, day and night in the cold. Its a miracle she is alive!This brings to mind a message from God in John 6:25-34 it says we should not worry because God cares for the birds and the flowers in the field and we should consider how God’s cares for all of creation. The birds do not have to work or worry because God cares for them.
And then Jesus tells us to remember that people are worth much more than birds and flowers! So don’t ever forget you are valuable and important and your life matters.If God kept Stormi alive and cared enough to answer my prayer to protect her. How much more won’t He care about you and your family.I want to encourage you to be like Stormi she fought for her life. You too can overcome life’s challenges and survive and thrive knowing that God cares for you and will protect you.Stormi was rescued by one of the teachers who took her home, bought Kitty milk for her and this morning G fetched Stormi and brought her home. Stormi is looking better already.☺ She is reunited with her mother and her siblings. They are happy to have her back. It’s so adorable to see how they hug each other.This brings to mind the importance of acceptance and the bond between family members. Ps 68:5 says “He sets the lonely in families” For me more than anything it speaks volumes of Gods love for us. He answers prayer and even cares for the tiny new born kitty. He kept Stormie alive and brought her back to us. My Miracle from God. 

Life Application:

• What is your dream.
  
• Write it down and commit it to God.
  
• Read it out loud daily and plan how to achieve your Dream.
  
• Trust God for your Miracle.

Quote for the day: A single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows. Francis of Assisi

Reach out & Touch: I Peter 5: 7: God cares for you.
I would love to hear from you, do connect with me for counseling and support.

Wendy

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Meaning|Potential| Power|Purpose|Release the brakes

Life Cycles:‘Embracing Change’Menopause, Andropause,‘Mendopause’, Sexuality

By Wendy La Vita |September 01, 2020

Source: dreamstime.com

Embracing change

The “Change of Life phase was been a subject many people only hear about, but few really talk about. I remember my mother at age fifty saying to my aunt she’s 15 years old again, laughing and giving a girlie jump. Looking back, I realise now that I have more knowledge about menopause, that my mom was expressing her delight about the end of her periods. I also remember her sneezing so loudly while cooking (allergic reactions to spices associated with perimenopause/menopause), that one could hear her sneeze “ai tissue!” from the street corner! Its all coming back now I remember mum being irritable, having headaches and saying she is getting hot, when it was cold. I guess that’s painting a very daunting picture of menopause.From what I discovered many women, including myself see this as my mother used to say “die tweede jonk” meaning she is a young girl again, free from the worries about periods, pregnancy and energetic… (she was able to touch her toes at age 50!). Or as I perceive this phase to be “Men-do-pause” …

Truth be told it is different for every woman and the possibility exists that if you had a relatively easy menstruation period the transition could occur over a time with very few symptoms related to menopause. I believe acceptance of change comes with preparation. The old expression forewarned is forearmed come to mind. (and that’s why I did some research on menopause and the male climacteric,(yes men do experience hormonal changes as well, more about that in a bit).
On that note, lets learn about this life cycle, together shall we.

What is Menopause

According to science the years during which a woman experiences biological change is called the perimenopause also known as “change of life” or the climacteric.”  (Papalia, Sterns, Feldman & Camp, 2002). From her early thirties onwards, a woman produces less ova and as she nears her fiftieth birthday, the ovaries produces less of the female hormone oestrogen (however small amounts of oestrogen is still secreted after menopause by the glands). Periods becomes irregular and longer time lapses in between periods. Menstruation stops completely as the levels of oestrogen and progesterone is produced by the ovaries. (Papalia et., 2002).

Menopause takes place when a woman permanently stops ovulating and menstruating and can no longer conceive a child: it is generally considered to have occurred 1 year after the last menstrual period.” (Papalia et., 2002).

Physical Effects (Symptoms)

FYI: Every woman is different and so your experience will be different and unique to your own body make-up. It is futile to compare your symptoms of perimenopause with another person’s experience. We all develop at our own pace. Jaff (2008).

I personally only started menstruating at age 17 while my sister started at the of age 12 years. It’s a fallacy to believe that mothers and daughter or siblings will have the same experience. Note: If you don’t have any of the symptoms listed, it does not mean you not perimenopausal. Just because your friends have hot flushes or headaches it does not mean you will have it too. It all depends on your own body’s chemistry (Jaff 2008).

Some Symptoms of perimenopause(Change of life)

“Hot Flushes, night sweats, forgetfulness, undefined anxiety, inability to concentrate

Mood swings, weight gain, sleep patten changes, loss of libido (sexual desire)

Change in the type of Premenstrual syndrome (PMS).

Pregnancy

You might have heard of the “change of life baby”, yes, it is still possible to fall pregnant during perimenopause! (until a woman has had a full year without periods) some women have been caught off guard on this one and end up with a ‘laat lammetjie’. (a menopause baby). This happened to John Travolta’s wife, Kelly Preston who conceived at age 48!

Age: You might be wondering at what age does these changes occur. To answer your question, I consulted the American Medical association,1998 which reports that menopause occurs when the ovaries is no longer able to produce enough oestrogen for a full menstrual cycle. According to research this happens between the age of 45 – 55 however some women experience changes in their thirties. (Papalia et. al., 2002).

There is another type of menopause which you might like to know more about:

Surgical induced menopause

Women who have their uterus (womb) removed to prevent pregnancy will experience menopause immediately, according to Papalia et. al.,2002). My Opinion: One has to consider a hysterectomy seriously before taking this final step as a birth control measure because your body is not prepared for the changes of menopause added to the effects of pregnancy, giving birth, breast feeding and having a new born baby to care for. (In other words, you could find yourself experiencing the symptoms of menopause immediately after the hysterectomy).

Post menopause(After menopause)

This is the phase my mother was talking about being 15 again! The time after a woman has not bled for a whole year and menopause has occurred. Many of the symptoms discussed earlier may lighten and or go away. It can also be a very liberating and enjoyable time of your life.

What about our male counterparts? I decided to study the other side of the spectrum. As a matter of fact, men do undergo a period of life change in midlife, but differently of cause. Let’s explore that for a while.

Source: Dreamtime.com: Anna Bocharova

Andropause (Male Climacteric)

The term andropause or male climacteric is used to refer to the time frame when men experience physiological, emotional and psychological change according to studies conducted by (Rowe & Kahn,1998). Some of the symptoms displayed by men in this phase (male climacteric) include depression, anxiety, irritability, lower sexual drive, reduction in muscle a body mass and hair loss (Rowe & Kahn,1998).
Men can reproduce until late in life however his sperm count drops in mid-forties and fifties, reducing the possibility of fathering a child, (Merrill & Verbrugge, 1999).

Wow! I am starting to suffer from information overload. I hope you are still with me. Now for the liberating time of our lives….

Sexuality and Aging

Sexual expression could be enjoyed by older people if both young and old accept it as normal and healthy. Relationships at all ages have physical and emotional needs for expressing love and affection which differs from person to person (Papalia,2002)

Source: Getty Images: Adam Smith

Lifestyle & Wellness

It is highly recommended by health professionals to follow a healthy diet of a variety of foods which include fish, meat, vegetables, fruit, nuts and seeds and complex carbohydrates; plus, food supplements to support your system for optimum health and wellbeing. One must try to balance relationships, diet,exercise, sleep and fun… (be sure to follow my blog for more about wellness, lifestyle and fun!).
I have been using the Sportron Wellness products for more than 20 years and highly recommend it. The Sportron products are available from Beautiful Life Training & Community Development. (15% of the proceeds will be donated towards Beautiful Life Training & Community Development NPC’s skills training projects for unemployed persons).

Recommended Supplements

Women’s Endocrine Support: Femplex food supplement

R318 (60 tabs)Femplex: ascendisdirect.com

Femplex is a food supplement designed for menopausal women. Femplex contains phytoestrogens, herbal and FoodState nutrients to assist women with the management of menopausal symptoms.

Male Endocrine Support

Gentron: ascendisdirect.com

R229.00 (30 capsules)

Gentron is a product formulated specifically for men. The nutrients that form a part of this product are carefully chosen to provide micro-nutrient balance to assist in the maintenance of maximum vitality and to assist with symptoms of hormonal imbalance.

‘Mendopause’

This is my term for the word sexy or attractive during menopause… so yes, “men-do-pause.”  Men still find women attractive and women in this life cycle are still attractive and can still cause men to stop and stare for a while…. ‘Mendopause’. And of course, the same applies for men in the male climacteric cycle.

“You can be gorgeous at thirty, charming at forty and irresistible for the rest of your life” Coco Chanel

Reach out and touch

Menopause is a difficult cycle to ride out on your own. It is highly recommended to reach and touch, connect with other women and men who are in same life cycle. You most welcome to contact me for life coaching and support.

Wendy

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Remember that old song by The Temptations, Treat Her Like A Lady:

“Now I’m the kinda guy who don’t believe

That chivalry is dead, no

‘Cause I believe a woman should be treated

With the utmost respect, mmm

Now I like opening doors

Pickin’ up her hanky off the floor

Treat her like a lady”

Brains

Flyinghigher, let’s talk about that Grey Matter –The brain

In the male and female brain there are many neurological differences, while we won’t go into detail right now, researchers propose that the way we are wired results in men and woman having different strengths(Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera, 2019). One sex is not better than the other in totality. However, research findings report that one sex may be better in certain respects. For example; men are better at performing single tasks; while women are better at multi-tasking. Women are better at attention, word memory and social cognition, and verbal abilities. Men are better at spatial processing and sensor imotor speed. Women are better at fine-motor coordination and retrieving information from long-term memory (Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera, 2019). Which explains why women tend to recall so accurately the past mistakes of their mates…right ladies?

To expand on this, research has found that certain sex-specific behaviours seem to be innate, not learned, which suggests that there is some hard wiring (structural differences) happening in our brain(Pascale and Primavera, 2019). For example, male monkeys prefer toys with wheels as opposed to female monkeys who prefer plush toys. On a higher level, when observing human toddlers, a preference is shown for sex-specific toys long before they know their own gender; and they show some of the perceptual differences found in adults.(Pascale and Primavera, 2019). (Extract from Male and Female Brains ‘Are they wired differently?’ Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera, 2019).

Strength

God created our bodies, brains and emotions (passions) to be strong in ways that match his unique design for us as men and women. The male body has an average of 11,793 kilograms more skeletal muscle, 40% more upper-body strength and 33% more lower body strength than women. On the other hand, female muscles can resist fatigue better and recover quicker.(Extract from Solid Joys article by Mary A. Kassian).

I guess by now it is clear that we differ on so many levels and the need to compete is totally unnecessary.

“Attention ladies and gentlemen landing is in 2 minutes, fasten your seat belts and prepare to land at Beautiful Life International Airport!” 

Back home after our journey together (I hope you enjoyed the flight)!?

In my humble opinion; it takes a strong woman to carry a baby inside her body for nine months, give birth to a child and nurse her baby immediately after hours of labour. No man has the capacity to compete with a woman on that level.

So, without any further delay as we land remember “You are very special”

“In all the world there is nobody like you. Since the beginning of time there has never been another person like you. Nobody has your smile, your eyes, your hands, your hair. Nobody owns your handwriting, your voice.

You’re Special. Nobody can paint your brush strokes. Nobody has your taste for food or music or dance or art. Nobody in the universe sees things as you do. You’re special.

In all time there has never been anyone who laughs in exactly your way. You’re different from any other person who has ever lived in the history of the universe. You are the only one in the whole of creation who has your particular set of abilities. Nobody in the universe can reach the quality of the combination of your talents, your feelings.

Through all eternity no one will ever walk, talk, think or do exactly like you. You’re special. You’re rare and in all rarity there is enormous value and because of your great value the need for you to imitate anyone else is absolutely wrong. You’re special, and it is no accident you are. Please realise that God made you for a special purpose. He has a job for you to do that nobody else can do as well as you can. Out of the billions of applicants, only one qualified. Only one has the unique and right combination of what it takes and that one is You. You’re Special” – Unknown Author

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Looking forward to connecting with you soon!

Blessings,

Wendy La Vita

Email: info@beautifullifecommunity.co.za
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“Deep within you lies a seed of greatness waiting to be germinated.” Dr Myles Munroe

Shaping a generation together