Beautiful Life Blog: Boundless

Meaning|Potential| Power|Purpose|Release the brakes

July 31, 2020 Blog Post

This is a go-to resource for individuals, parents and families striving to make sense of LIFE. 
You’ll find posts dedicated to build up your spiritual, emotional, physical and relational well-being. Parenting skills, life coaching, career guidance, and loads more about life changes such as, motherhood, adolescence, menopause, loss, post-natal depression and self-worth development and motivation. A space where you can connect with the Beautiful Life team and we will reach out to support you and your family.

wendy

About the author

Wendy La Vita is the Founder of Beautiful Life Training and Community Development with a demonstrated history of working in the for-profit and the civic & social organisation industry. Skilled in Operations Management, Sales, Creative Entrepreneurship, Administration, training and Management. Strong professional with a master’s degree focused in Psychology from Stellenbosch University, South Africa.

Personal Mission Statement

My mission in life is to leave a legacy for future generations and to uphold the motto “Shaping a generation together” I believe in the principles of Ubuntu, meaning ” I am a person because of others”

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Beautiful Life Training

Boundless: Meaning|Potential |Power| Purpose|Release the brakes.

Theme: The Art of Parenting

By Wendy La Vita | 7 October , 2020

A Thought Provoking Analogy : A Lesson From The Birds:

FB_IMG_15378136033558547I discovered a bird’s nest on the roof of my veranda to my chagrin. Being a city-slicker who moved to the country recently, I was most annoyed by this. I had the nest removed immediately. Leading a busy life I forgot about it completely.

A few days later while enjoying the country air, I looked up because I heard the sound of birds on the roof again.

To my surpirse the birds had rebuilt the best. I was about to chase the bird away, when I discovered that it was a hen sitting on her nest. Being a mother I realised that she had made a home for her chicks which she was expecting. Naturally I could not disturb them.

I started to observe the birds every day thereafter. The hen would sit on the eggs part of the day and the cock would relieve her. Giving her a chance to fly. They would bring food and feathers for each other. It was amazing to observe this relationship between the two birds. There were times when both, the hen and the cock sat in the nest to keep the eggs warm and safe.

As you can imagine I got busy and again forgot about the birds. To my surpise a few weeks later I was awakened by the chirping of two little birds who had hatched from the eggs.

Now my interest was perked once more, country living so beautiful
I noticed that the cock left the nest and came back to feed the chicks and the hen every day. Later as they got bigger the cock (male) spent time with the young birds ( their offspring) teaching them to fly.  I found this amazing. Both birds ( parents took equal responsibility for the wellbeing and education of the chicks (offspring).
At no point was the  hen (female) left to fend for herself or the chicks alone. When the young birds were able to feed themselves and fly the whole family took off and flew away to their new home I guess.

Life Application

What I learned from the birds:

  • Parents are jointly responsible for the family from conception to early adulthood.
  • It is both parents responsibilty to teach their young to fend for themselves to become independant individuals.
  • The cock (male) did not abandon the mother of his offspring when they discovered she was pregnant.
  • The male bird protected the hen and the chicks day and night. He fulfilled his role as the father figure.
  • They built a nest (home) for their family together and provided for their needs jointly. ( An egalitarian relationship).
  • The outcome was: A happy family who sang together, worked together and stayed together.
  • The youngsters were ready to leave the nest. The sky’s The Limit!

 

Quote for the day:  We may not be able to prepare the future for our children, but we can at least prepare our children for the future. Franklin D. Rooseveldt

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“Shaping a generation together”

Reach out & Touch:  Parenting can be challenging to master on your own. If you have any questions or you need guidance and support please contact or counselling line: info@beautifullifecommunity.co.za

Warm Regards

Wendy

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Stormi’s Miracle

Meaning|Potential| Power|Purpose|Release the brakes

“Overcoming lifes struggles in the face of adversity”

Category Faith: “God Cares For Us”

By Wendy La Vita |September 12, 2020

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I hope you remember my story about Amy-Kitty, shared in my previous blogs. It seems there is a follow up blog…☺ My whole life has been turned topsy turvy by Amy-Kitty who we adopted with her family of four cute kittens. Amy had to adapt to living with us as well; as you know, living with others can be trying especially given that she was used to running around outside and enjoying her freedom.
I guess you can relate to this lack of freedom as being in lock-down is not easy.On Tuesday I decided to give Amy a little freedom and let her go for a run outside after a week indoors. Amy-Kitty did not want to come back inside to nurse the kittens. I, in my wisdom decided to put two of the kittens outside in their basket to lure Amy-Kitty back inside. To my horror, she ran to the basket grabbed little Stormi and ran off with her into the school grounds adjacent to our apartment.It happend within seconds. I was in a state of shock. I immediately called the school to ask them to look for Stormi. Alas, no news from the school. My entire family and all the children on the block went out looking for Stormi who was only two weeks old. I went to the school and spoke to the principal who said she would contact me if they found Stormi.That night Amy-Kitty cried all night because guess what? she came home but did not bring Stormi back with her. We all cried. I prayed and asked God to protect Stormi wherever she was. My daughter G, who loved Stormi and planned on keeping her was heart-broken. She was certain Stormi was a gonna. I told her Stormi was in the school and prayed every day she would come back. Now that was most unlikely I said it to console G of course.We missed Stormi terribly. On Friday, three days after Stormi had gone missing, I got a call from the principal at the school saying a kitten had been found! She was very scared and hungry but alive!  Stormi survived without water, mothers milk and being stuck in a gutter, day and night in the cold. Its a miracle she is alive!Robin-600x400 (1)This brings to mind a message from God in John 6:25-34 it says we should not worry because God cares for the birds and the flowers in the field and we should consider how God’s cares for all of creation. The birds do not have to work or worry because God cares for them.
And then Jesus tells us to remember that people are worth much more than birds and flowers! So don’t ever forget you are valuable and important and your life matters.If God kept Stormi alive and cared enough to answer my prayer to protect her. How much more won’t He care about you and your family.I want to encourage you to be like Stormi she fought for her life. You too can overcome life’s challenges and survive and thrive knowing that God cares for you and will protect you.

Stormi was rescued by one of the teachers who took her home, bought Kitty milk for her and this morning G fetched Stormi and brought her home. Stormi is looking better already.☺ She is reunited with her mother and her siblings. They are happy to have her back. It’s so adorable to see how they hug each other.

This brings to mind the importance of acceptance and the bond between family members. Ps 68:5 says “He sets the lonely in families” For me more than anything it speaks volumes of Gods love for us. He answers prayer and even cares for the tiny new born kitty. He kept Stormie alive and brought her back to us. My Miracle from God

Life Application:

  • What is your dream.
  • Write it down and commit it to God.
  • Read it out loud daily and plan how to achieve your Dream.
  • Trust God for your Miracle.

Quote for the day: A single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows. Francis of Assisi

Reach out & Touch: I Peter 5: 7: God cares for you.
I would love to hear from you, do connect with me for counseling and support.

 

Warm Regards

Wendy

Subscribe: Email: info@beautifullifecommunity.co.za

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Beautiful Life Training Blog

Meaning|Potential| Power|Purpose|Release the brakes

Life Cycles:‘Embracing Change’Menopause, Andropause,‘Mendopause’, Sexuality

By Wendy La Vita |September 01, 2020

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Source: dreamstime.com

Embracing change

The “Change of Life phase was been a subject many people only hear about, but few really talk about. I remember my mother at age fifty saying to my aunt she’s 15 years old again, laughing and giving a girlie jump. Looking back, I realise now that I have more knowledge about menopause, that my mom was expressing her delight about the end of her periods. I also remember her sneezing so loudly while cooking (allergic reactions to spices associated with perimenopause/menopause), that one could hear her sneeze “ai tissue!” from the street corner! Its all coming back now I remember mum being irritable, having headaches and saying she is getting hot, when it was cold. I guess that’s painting a very daunting picture of menopause.From what I discovered many women, including myself see this as my mother used to say “die tweede jonk” meaning she is a young girl again, free from the worries about periods, pregnancy and energetic… (she was able to touch her toes at age 50!). Or as I perceive this phase to be “Men-do-pause”

Truth be told it is different for every woman and the possibility exists that if you had a relatively easy menstruation period the transition could occur over a time with very few symptoms related to menopause. I believe acceptance of change comes with preparation. The old expression forewarned is forearmed come to mind. (and that’s why I did some research on menopause and the male climacteric,(yes men do experience hormonal changes as well, more about that in a bit).
On that note, lets learn about this life cycle, together shall we.

What is Menopause

According to science the years during which a woman experiences biological change is called the perimenopause also known as “change of life” or the climacteric.”  (Papalia, Sterns, Feldman & Camp, 2002). From her early thirties onwards, a woman produces less ova and as she nears her fiftieth birthday, the ovaries produces less of the female hormone oestrogen (however small amounts of oestrogen is still secreted after menopause by the glands). Periods becomes irregular and longer time lapses in between periods. Menstruation stops completely as the levels of oestrogen and progesterone is produced by the ovaries. (Papalia et., 2002).

Menopause takes place when a woman permanently stops ovulating and menstruating and can no longer conceive a child: it is generally considered to have occurred 1 year after the last menstrual period.” (Papalia et., 2002).

Physical Effects (Symptoms)

FYI: Every woman is different and so your experience will be different and unique to your own body make-up. It is futile to compare your symptoms of perimenopause with another person’s experience. We all develop at our own pace. Jaff (2008).

I personally only started menstruating at age 17 while my sister started at the of age 12 years. It’s a fallacy to believe that mothers and daughter or siblings will have the same experience. Note: If you don’t have any of the symptoms listed, it does not mean you not perimenopausal. Just because your friends have hot flushes or headaches it does not mean you will have it too. It all depends on your own body’s chemistry (Jaff 2008).

Some Symptoms of perimenopause(Change of life)

“Hot Flushes, night sweats, forgetfulness, undefined anxiety, inability to concentrate

Mood swings, weight gain, sleep patten changes, loss of libido (sexual desire)

Change in the type of Premenstrual syndrome (PMS).

Pregnancy

You might have heard of the “change of life baby”, yes, it is still possible to fall pregnant during perimenopause! (until a woman has had a full year without periods) some women have been caught off guard on this one and end up with a ‘laat lammetjie’. (a menopause baby). This happened to John Travolta’s wife, Kelly Preston who conceived at age 48!

Age: You might be wondering at what age does these changes occur. To answer your question, I consulted the American Medical association,1998 which reports that menopause occurs when the ovaries is no longer able to produce enough oestrogen for a full menstrual cycle. According to research this happens between the age of 45 – 55 however some women experience changes in their thirties. (Papalia et. al., 2002).

There is another type of menopause which you might like to know more about:

Surgical induced menopause

Women who have their uterus (womb) removed to prevent pregnancy will experience menopause immediately, according to Papalia et. al.,2002). My Opinion: One has to consider a hysterectomy seriously before taking this final step as a birth control measure because your body is not prepared for the changes of menopause added to the effects of pregnancy, giving birth, breast feeding and having a new born baby to care for. (In other words, you could find yourself experiencing the symptoms of menopause immediately after the hysterectomy).

Post menopause(After menopause)

This is the phase my mother was talking about being 15 again! The time after a woman has not bled for a whole year and menopause has occurred. Many of the symptoms discussed earlier may lighten and or go away. It can also be a very liberating and enjoyable time of your life.


What about our male counterparts? I decided to study the other side of the spectrum. As a matter of fact, men do undergo a period of life change in midlife, but differently of cause. Let’s explore that for a while.

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Source: Dreamtime.com: Anna Bocharova

Andropause (Male Climacteric)

The term andropause or male climacteric is used to refer to the time frame when men experience physiological, emotional and psychological change according to studies conducted by (Rowe & Kahn,1998). Some of the symptoms displayed by men in this phase (male climacteric) include depression, anxiety, irritability, lower sexual drive, reduction in muscle a body mass and hair loss (Rowe & Kahn,1998).
Men can reproduce until late in life however his sperm count drops in mid-forties and fifties, reducing the possibility of fathering a child, (Merrill & Verbrugge, 1999).

 

Wow! I am starting to suffer from information overload. I hope you are still with me. Now for the liberating time of our lives….

 

Sexuality and Aging

Sexual expression could be enjoyed by older people if both young and old accept it as normal and healthy. Relationships at all ages have physical Kittyand emotional needs for expressing love and affection which differs from person to person (Papalia,2002)

Source: Getty Images: Adam Smith

Lifestyle & Wellness

It is highly recommended by health professionals to follow a healthy diet of a variety of foods which include fish, meat, vegetables, fruit, nuts and seeds and complex carbohydrates; plus, food supplements to support your system for optimum health and wellbeing. One must try to balance relationships, diet,exercise, sleep and fun… (be sure to follow my blog for more about wellness, lifestyle and fun!).
I have been using the Sportron Wellness products for more than 20 years and highly recommend it. The Sportron products are available from Beautiful Life Training & Community Development. (15% of the proceeds will be donated towards Beautiful Life Training & Community Development NPC’s skills training projects for unemployed persons).

 

Recommended Supplements

Women’s Endocrine Support: Femplex food supplement

Kitty
R318 (60 tabs)Femplex: ascendisdirect.com

Femplex is a food supplement designed for menopausal women. Femplex contains phytoestrogens, herbal and FoodState nutrients to assist women with the management of menopausal symptoms.

 

 

Male Endocrine Support

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Gentron: ascendisdirect.com

R229.00 (30 capsules)

Gentron is a product formulated specifically for men. The nutrients that form a part of this product are carefully chosen to provide micro-nutrient balance to assist in the maintenance of maximum vitality and to assist with symptoms of hormonal imbalance.

 

 

‘Mendopause’

This is my term for the word sexy or attractive during menopause… so yes, “men-do-pause.”  Men still find women attractive and women in this life cycle are still attractive and can still cause men to stop and stare for a while…. ‘Mendopause’. And of course, the same applies for men in the male climacteric cycle.

“You can be gorgeous at thirty, charming at forty and irresistible for the rest of your life” Coco Chanel

Reach out and touch

Menopause is a difficult cycle to ride out on your own. It is highly recommended to reach and touch, connect with other women and men who are in same life cycle. You most welcome to contact me for life coaching and support.

Looking forward to hearing from you, 

Warm Regards

Wendy

Subscribe: Email: info@beautifullifecommunity.co.za

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Beautiful Life Blog: Boundless

Meaning|Potential| Power|Purpose|Release the brakes

Women’s Day:  ‘Embracing all of Womanity; her beauty, brains, strength, vulnerability and passion’

By Wendy La Vita |August 09, 2020

Kitty

Image Source: The Cut (2018) – Stevie Remsberg/Getty Images

You’re right, there is no such word as womanity in the English language. I made it up …just for fun, meaning the way woman think or are wired. (derived from the word humanity). Bearing that in mind, let’s look at Womanity from my vantage point, her beauty, brains and strength.

I hope you will enjoy my other side(this reminds me of a book about a woman called Eve, who had multiple personalities…). Any way according to a recent personality test I should be a comedian or a pilot! Join me as your pilot, as I explore womanity. Are you ready for take-off?

Beauty

When God saw everything, he had created it was very good!  (… when Adam saw Eve, he was at a loss for words he exclaimed, “Wow Man!” The Wow Factor: Eve was part of Adam, (see Genesis chapter 1 & 2) so she was human, and he could relate to her as a person. On the outside she was good to look at; beautiful. Adam was excited to have someone to share his life with because before God created Eve, he only had animals as friends. But when Eve came along, he had someone to talk to and a helpmate; meaning she had beauty and brains. She was created as a helper that was suitable for Adam. The Lord God said, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

In other words, Eve was perfect for Adam, complete in every way. God made Eve soft on the outside; but strong enough to bear children and gentle enough to care for them and smart enough to home-school them. As Adam’s helpmate she was equipped to deal with the animals in the Garden of Eden; meaning Eve was a strong woman, but needed her mate to protect her from the wild animals as God said; “Two are better than one, when one falls down the other can help him up.”

However, she does not have to compete with Adam in any way because she has been designed uniquely.

In the current climate Eve appears to be taking over Adams persona in many ways; having to prove her strength. The other day I went to the shops and saw a lady manager lifting boxes, pushing trolleys and in response to my remark about her working too hard she replied, “I have to show the men that I am able to do anything they can do.” No doubt some woman are physically strong; but why exert yourself when you can delegate? As I am flying across the freeway, I see a lady driver and her male companion asleep next to her, while she is looking stressed in peak hour traffic… I begin to wonder… is she really in control? Now don’t misunderstand me I totally understand the importance of independence and need to be mobile today. But I am wondering is it possible that in the 21st century men are still in charge? and simply taking a back seat; while we gals take-over the workload instead?

Makes me wonder…why not enjoy the pleasure of being treated like a lady.

Remember that old song by The Temptations, Treat Her Like A Lady:

“Now I’m the kinda guy who don’t believe

That chivalry is dead, no

‘Cause I believe a woman should be treated

With the utmost respect, mmm

Now I like opening doors

Pickin’ up her hanky off the floor

Treat her like a lady”

Brains

Flyinghigher, let’s talk about that Grey Matter –The brain

In the male and female brain there are many neurological differences, while we won’t go into detail right now, researchers propose that the way we are wired results in men and woman having different strengths(Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera, 2019). One sex is not better than the other in totality. However, research findings report that one sex may be better in certain respects. For example; men are better at performing single tasks; while women are better at multi-tasking. Women are better at attention, word memory and social cognition, and verbal abilities. Men are better at spatial processing and sensor imotor speed. Women are better at fine-motor coordination and retrieving information from long-term memory (Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera, 2019). Which explains why women tend to recall so accurately the past mistakes of their mates…right ladies?

To expand on this, research has found that certain sex-specific behaviours seem to be innate, not learned, which suggests that there is some hard wiring (structural differences) happening in our brain(Pascale and Primavera, 2019). For example, male monkeys prefer toys with wheels as opposed to female monkeys who prefer plush toys. On a higher level, when observing human toddlers, a preference is shown for sex-specific toys long before they know their own gender; and they show some of the perceptual differences found in adults.(Pascale and Primavera, 2019). (Extract from Male and Female Brains ‘Are they wired differently?’ Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera, 2019).

Strength

God created our bodies, brains and emotions (passions) to be strong in ways that match his unique design for us as men and women. The male body has an average of 11,793 kilograms more skeletal muscle, 40% more upper-body strength and 33% more lower body strength than women. On the other hand, female muscles can resist fatigue better and recover quicker.(Extract from Solid Joys article by Mary A. Kassian).

I guess by now it is clear that we differ on so many levels and the need to compete is totally unnecessary.

“Attention ladies and gentlemen landing is in 2 minutes, fasten your seat belts and prepare to land at Beautiful Life International Airport!” 

Back home after our journey together (I hope you enjoyed the flight)!?

In my humble opinion; it takes a strong woman to carry a baby inside her body for nine months, give birth to a child and nurse her baby immediately after hours of labour. No man has the capacity to compete with a woman on that level.

So, without any further delay as we land remember “You are very special”

“In all the world there is nobody like you. Since the beginning of time there has never been another person like you. Nobody has your smile, your eyes, your hands, your hair. Nobody owns your handwriting, your voice.

You’re Special. Nobody can paint your brush strokes. Nobody has your taste for food or music or dance or art. Nobody in the universe sees things as you do. You’re special.

In all time there has never been anyone who laughs in exactly your way. You’re different from any other person who has ever lived in the history of the universe. You are the only one in the whole of creation who has your particular set of abilities. Nobody in the universe can reach the quality of the combination of your talents, your feelings.

Through all eternity no one will ever walk, talk, think or do exactly like you. You’re special. You’re rare and in all rarity there is enormous value and because of your great value the need for you to imitate anyone else is absolutely wrong. You’re special, and it is no accident you are. Please realise that God made you for a special purpose. He has a job for you to do that nobody else can do as well as you can. Out of the billions of applicants, only one qualified. Only one has the unique and right combination of what it takes and that one is You. You’re Special” – Unknown Author

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Looking forward to connecting with you soon!

Blessings,

Wendy La Vita

Email: info@beautifullifecommunity.co.za
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Beautiful Life Blog: Boundless

Meaning|Potential| Power|Purpose|Release the brakes.

‘Overcoming Life’s Struggles in the face of adversity’

Amy Kitty’s Story: A Powerful Analogy

by Wendy La Vita | August 01, 2020

Kitty

Growing in Faith & Courage

When I moved into my new apartment there was a cat in the garden. She was very much at home on the grounds, but distant. She ran away when I tried to pet her or even got too close. I was wondering whose cat she was because I was annoyed that she might mess up the garden. But she never did…  I saw her on the other side of the building lying in the sun and would say hello kitty, but no patting was allowed. After a while she would come to my garden and relax in the sun on the wall but no contact as yet. When my daughter, GiGi came to stay with me the cat followed her to the flat. Since that day she came every day. GiGi bought food for the cat and wanted to keep her. I named her Amy Kitty because she looked like a friend’s cat. Amy Kitty would come every day but never cried or allowed us near her. She would eat the food but run away if we tried to come close. One day I tried to touch her, and she got a big fright and ran away. But now, after a few months she is allowing us to feed her and even comes to the door crying for food. She is sunbathing on the patio and even had her mates come over at night in mating season. Amy Kitty looks like she is having a family soon. She is at home. Allows us close up and is more relaxed. She is trusting us more and more every day as she gets to know us better and waits for her food quietly at the gate until we feed her. She expects her meals and is at home. This is a powerful analogy of trust and a relationship with God our father. If we get close to him, we get to know him better and we let go of our fears. We learn to trust him to provide for our needs, even for our emotional needs; for love and affection, a family of our own and our basic needs like food and a home. Trusting that He will take care of us. We can bask in the sun like Amy Kitty and enjoy the sun every day, grooming herself in the warmth of the sun. God says he will make his face to shine upon us.
The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Numbers 6:24-26

Life Application Exercise: Spend 10 minutes before you get up to talk to God. Just share your thoughts and feelings with God and your plans for the day before you reach for your cell phone or jump out of bed. Allow God to lead you and direct you. It might not happen on day one but repeat the exercise daily and given time you will build a relationship of trust.

Reach Out & Touch: In this time of uncertainty you may be experiencing many challenges and need someone to share your doubts and fears with. Help is just a click away www.beautifullifecommunity.co.za/counselling.html

“Deep within you lies a seed of greatness waiting to be germinated.” Dr Myles Munroe


 

Shaping a generation together

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